I Didn’t Know What a Real Relationship Was

2-minute read.

This story was written by April at 61 years old. Her parents never separated. She gave permission for her story to be shared.

HER STORY

My parents had already been married almost 20 years. When I was born, I had two sisters. 14 and 18 years old. Dad was probably hoping to get a son, but instead he got another daughter. Mom was 42 when I was born, Dad 40. There was already a problem when I came. Dad had been sexually abusive with my 14-year-old sister. My mom caught him exposing himself, I think when she was 12. She told him that she wouldn't allow that to continue, and that when I was born, I was her child and off limits.

HOW THE DYSFUNCTION MADE HER FEEL

I believe I was told about daddy when I was around 10. But even so, I didn't feel loved by my dad. I couldn't sit on his lap and he didn't show me any affection. My mom was a stout Jehovah's Witness, and she raised me as one. If you aren’t aware, the witnesses don't understand what grace is, and you have to earn your way to heaven.

Anyway, my oldest sister moved out by the time I was 3, and moved far away to another state. I was close to the middle sister, she was like a mother to me, and showed me love. Mom was distant and to this day, don't know exactly why. She wasn't affectionate to her children.

HOW THE DYSFUNCTION IMPACTED HER

I was never molested, like my sister, but I didn't seem to know what a real relationship was, and I had 3 divorces. Two with the same man. To make a long story shorter, I found Jesus and I have been married to a wonderful man for 18 years. The only thing is I still struggle with low self-esteem and worth.

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