#138: The Best of 2024: Restored Podcast Highlights
If you come from a divorced or broken family, this show is for you. We help you heal your brokenness, navigate the challenges, and build healthy relationships, so you can break that cycle and build a better life. In this episode, you'll hear highlight clips from the podcast in 2024.
If you’re new to the podcast, this is the perfect way to sample our content and learn how it will help you. If you’re a longtime listener, this is the perfect episode to share with someone you know who needs to hear it.
Get the Book or FREE chapters: It’s Not Your Fault
Get the Guide: 5 Tips to Navigate the Holidays in a Broken Family
Episodes featured:
#115: The Antidote to a Life of Emptiness | Dr. Andrew & Sarah Swafford
#120: Freedom You Never Tasted But Always Wanted | Jake Khym, MA
#121: A Cure for Feeling Needy or Helpless | Margaret Vasquez
#123: What I Wish Never Happened, I Am The Most Grateful For | Jack Beers
#126: Former Porn Actress: Over 90% of People in Porn are from Broken Families | Bree Solstad
#132: Why Your Wounds & Subconscious Are Ruling Your Life | Dr. Gregory Bottaro
#136: Relationship Advice for Young People from Broken Families | Jackie & Bobby Angel
Links & Resources
Full Disclaimer: If you purchase through the links on this page, your purchase will support Restored at no additional cost to you. Thank you!
To leave feedback, comment below or contact us.
Enjoy the show?
To be notified when new episodes go live, subscribe below.
As a bonus, you'll receive the first chapters from our book, It's Not Your Fault: A Practical Guide to Navigating the Pain and Problems from Your Parents' Divorce.
TRANSCRIPT
Transcript produced by artificial intelligence. Please pardon any errors!
===
138_Final
===
Dr. Andrew Swafford: [00:00:00] One of the greatest acts of charity you can do is enter into that healing work. Because ~as we all know, like~ if we don't, it's going to come out in other forms of dysfunction. It's going to transfer to all of our other relationships.
Dr. Bottaro: We have a responsibility to bring out the things from our unconscious and to put them into the light of conscious awareness.
Dr. Peter: What I love about internal family systems and parts of systems approaches is that it helps us to make sense of the chaos inside.
Bree: ~Yeah, ~there were many, many years that I think that I just completely hated myself, but I. I hated myself more when I was in amongst the detrimental behavior, when I was drinking, when I was doing porn.
Jake Khym: I think that's essential to recovery is micro goals. You have to break this whole thing down into realistic parts. Soon as you think about, I'm going to have to go seven years without ever struggling. You're done. It's too big. ~You're done. It'll crush you ~
Jackie and Bobby Angel: better. 14 broken engagements than one broken marriage.
Margaret Vasquez: I think if we wait to Want to do it or wait to feel equipped to do it or comfortable Doing it like we'll just keep on waiting.
Joey: [00:01:00] Welcome to the restored podcast I'm joey panarelli if you come from a divorce or a broken family this show is for you We help you heal your brokenness navigate the challenges and build healthy relationships so you can break that cycle and build a better life To close out the year, my team and I wanted to share highlights of the restored podcast.
So you're about to hear short clips from episodes published this year. And if you're new to the podcast, welcome. This is the perfect way to sample our content and to see how it can help you. Now, if you're a dedicated listener, we're just so honored to serve you guys. This is the perfect episode to share with someone, you know, who maybe needs to hear this content.
And by the way, if after hearing one of the clips, you want to listen to that particular episode in its entirety, but maybe you forgot the episode number, just go to the show notes to find all the episodes that we featured. There'll be listed there. First episode one 15 with Dr. Andrew and Sarah Swer titled The Antidote to A Life of Emptiness.
I absolutely love the Swafford. They're such an amazing couple and really an amazing example of what a marriage and family ought to be. They have such a [00:02:00] beautiful family, healthy marriage, and the main question in this episode and clip is what's needed to live a life of meaning and relationships that are filled with joy?
Dr. Andrew Swafford: Can prayer ever become selfish? And I still don't know exactly where this question is coming from, but I'm like, well, are you thinking in terms of like healing? Like, is it too self centered? I think number one, like entering into the deep work of healing of going, because in prayer you get to know God better, but you get to know yourself better, what's going on in my heart.
What's brought me to this place. That's not narcissistic. That's not selfish because the greatest act of charity you may ever, I mean, one of the greatest acts of charity you can do is. Enter into that healing work because as we all know, like if we don't, it's going to come out in other forms of dysfunction.
It's going to transfer to all of our other relationships. It's going to, it's going to inhibit our ability to really love and be present to others around us. So to me, the answer is relationship. It's with God. It's going into those places that we're afraid to look. It's being [00:03:00] patient with ourselves. We want this to be a quick fix, but it's often not we didn't get there overnight We're not gonna get out overnight But then also simultaneously relationships with other people we can have that love of god mediated to us We can be seen and known and loved and understood and and affirm for who we are as we are as wonderful and great But also a work in project, uh, in progress and not perfect overnight.
And, uh, so to me that, that healing, it's not selfish. It's going to be one of the greatest acts of charity anyone has ever do. And our family tree, whether it's biological or spiritual, like the people that cross our paths moving forward, that tree, that trajectory will be altered by whether or not we actually go deep with our own stuff and our own junk and actually enter that healing.
And if we don't, it'll be altered in a different way. So you can kind of. We're all like been thrown into this life. We've all had these like scars, good and bad, all these things. And we can just kind of keep passing that forward. Or we can like buck the trend. Like I know Joey, you know, you and I have talked about this [00:04:00] and uh, you know, we really want to raise our families in a way that's, I mean, we're grateful for what was given to us, but we also want to do some things.
I want to be some of what we didn't receive. Yeah. And I think of that as like, You're never divorced from your past, but you can buck that you can start a new line and it's not a brand new line, but like with Christ, he makes all things new and it's, it's, it's a new point. There's a before and after. And so the healing is not selfish.
It will transform all those that cross your path moving forward.
Joey: I appreciate that sobering reminder that if we don't heal. We'll likely pass our brokenness onto the people that we love the most, but that doesn't have to be our story. We can write our own story. We can write a new story like Dr. Swofford said, and we can really buck the trend.
As he said, we can break the cycle and you can give your kids, your future spouse, what you didn't receive and healing your brokenness and growing in virtue is really the best gift that you can give to your future spouse and your children. So more advice on how to do all of that in episode [00:05:00] 115. Next is episode 120 with Jake Kim, titled Freedom You Never Tasted But Always Wanted.
His story is absolutely incredible. Two years into marriage, he found himself enslaved to a sex addiction. He wanted to break free, but he felt super stuck, so he just hid his behavior from his wife and led a double life. And in this clip, he talks about a tactic to use to break free from sexual compulsion or addiction.
Jake Khym: So if you know anything about the Navy SEALs, he said, and he's been through hell week. He's been through hell week. So he has real life experience. And he said, I respect any man who has worked through an addiction, man or woman, but we're talking about men work through an addiction to pornography. He said, you are like us when you've done this.
Oh, that was huge motivation for me. But one of the things that they teach there is what's called micro goals. The principle is you will never make it through hell week. When you think about the entire week at the same time, you'll quit because it's [00:06:00] overwhelming. So what you have to do is draw your attention, which isn't easy, but it is possible.
Draw your attention back until the next thing you're focusing on is reasonable and achievable. And that might be. All I have to focus on is the next 30 minutes. And if that's the sobriety journey that you're in is all my goal right now is the next 30 minutes and I'm working hard because it's not instantly happening.
I'm working hard to hold my attention to being holy, being pure for the next 30 minutes. I'm breaking down this lifelong journey into a goal that's reasonable. And achievable it's micro goals. That's how they survive extremely difficult things like hell week. And they train that and they practice that.
And then they embody it. I think that's essential to recovery is micro goals. You have to break this whole thing down into realistic parts and that doesn't magically happen. That is intentional. Soon as you think about, I'm going to have to [00:07:00] go seven years without ever struggling. You're done. It's too big.
You're done. Yeah. It'll crush you. You got to think about the next 10 minutes, day, week, whatever is manageable to you.
Joey: So good. And proof that that work is the lone survivor story of Marcus LaTroise, a Navy SEAL, who you guys might know this story. He was essentially just left without a team in the mountains in Afghanistan.
And he actually using that exact tactic that Jake just taught, he actually crawled on his belly with like a broken femur, his nose was collapsed into his face, sorry, this kind of graphic he had. bitten through his tongue, he was on his belly, like running from likely hundreds of enemy fighters. He would take a stick and draw a line in the sand in front of him.
And he said, if I can just get past that line, I'm going to live. And he did that again. He did that for seven miles. He also shares how at the root of his addiction to porn and masturbation were just lots of brokenness and lots of selfishness, where [00:08:00] he thought if he could just have porn in real life, he'd be fine.
But he also shares tactics and principles in this episode that helped him break free from addiction and rescue his marriage. And so super helpful stuff in episode 120. Episode 121 is next with trauma therapist Margaret Vasquez titled A Cure for Feeling Needy or Helpless. Margaret, like I said, is a trauma therapist who's helped hundreds of people heal for the past 20 years.
And we got a lot of great feedback about this episode, since so often I think those of us who come from broken families are tempted to fall into victim mentality, the belief that we're just stuck and powerless and therefore we just perpetually wait for someone to come in and rescue us and do the work for us.
And so, in order to break free, Margaret says that we need to take action. Listen in. We're just comfortable in kind of the status quo, and I think it's really important to break out of that. So how do we break out of that and take action?
Margaret Vasquez: I think taking action is breaking, is how we break out of it. I don't, I don't know that there's ever a point when it just becomes easy [00:09:00] in the beginning, right?
It becomes easier by doing it. It's like lifting, right? Like lifting weights, the weight becomes lighter. The more you lift it, but if it's something that's going to cause you to grow when you walk up to it, it's heavy initially, right? You have to have to start pumping it. And anytime we, you know, especially going back to the sports analogy, having played sports as well, we don't have muscle memory of something yet.
Right. Feels really awkward. Right. It's like, am I doing this right? Like, you know, I don't know. It just, you're having to concentrate on, you know, batting, right. Your stance, where are my feet? How am I holding my elbows? How am I following through? Like, okay. Oh, watch the ball. That's a thing too. Like trying to put all these things together at the same time and not get beamed in the head, you know, and like whatever.
But the more you do it, the more natural it becomes. And to the point where it's just, yeah, you don't even have to think about it. You just get up there and you're, you know, it just feels right and flows, you know, actually becomes relaxing and enjoyable. [00:10:00] And then pretty soon you don't even, somebody else has to point it out to you that you're, that you're doing it, you know, and maybe not in terms of batting, but living in a, in a healthy place or from that place of wholeness.
So I think if we wait to. Want to do it or wait to feel equipped to do it or comfortable doing it. Like we'll just keep on waiting, you know, I think it's, yeah, it's just beginning to just, yeah, just starting, just starting and you tweak as you go and you grow as you go and learn more, but you gotta start.
Joey: I love her sports analogy and the reminder that we have to practice in order to be virtuous and healthy. And the more that we do that, the more effortless it becomes. And her challenge to us to just get started, I think is just so appropriate, but more advice and challenges from Margaret in episode 121.
If you come from a divorced or broken family, or maybe you know someone who does, we offer more resources than just this podcast. Those resources include things like a book, free video courses, speaking engagements, a free assessment, online [00:11:00] community, and much more. All of our resources are designed to help you heal from the trauma that you've endured and build virtue, so you can break that cycle and build a better life.
And so, if you want to view those resources for yourself or someone that you know, Just go to restoredministry. com slash resources or click on the link in the show notes. Next is episode 123 with Jack Beers titled What I Wish Never Happened I Am Most Grateful For. Jack is not only just an exceptional communicator, but a man who has suffered a lot.
And through his suffering, he's become better, a better man. And no matter how badly we're struggling, we always have freedom to respond, as Jack explains in this clip.
Jack Beers: What can never be taken from a human being is the ability to choose their attitude in a given circumstance. The exception to that is, like, when you lose your mental faculties, so, so provided you have your mental faculties, you're not struggling from dementia or Alzheimer's or, let's say, multiple personality disorder, but if you have your mental faculties, there's literally no power on earth, [00:12:00] not even God himself has given himself the power To force you to respond in a particular way and to claim that freedom that you do have, like people have gone through a significant trauma or significant suffering.
It's like the 1st step is to acknowledge the pain and to acknowledge the storm that you're in or that you've gone through and to acknowledge its impact on you. But the 2nd step and arguably the most important one is. What are you going to do about it? You have the freedom to choose how you respond.
Your attitude, your outlook, how you look at it. You know, the first four years of me being sick, I got a terrible attitude. Victim, impossibility, bitterness, resentment, anger, you know, when things turned around, it was an attitude of possibility. Like, what can I control? One of the great images of this is Jesus hugging his cross.
You know, like when I didn't grow up with any particular faith, and I remember the first time I heard the story [00:13:00] of Jesus hugging his cross and him willing the suffering that was imposed upon him. It was like that, that's it. That's it. That's what I want to do. Like that is the most noble thing a person can do is regardless of their circumstances, regardless of what's being imposed on them to choose to embrace it.
To walk toward the storm and to extract as much meaning as they can from the experience so that they can go turn around and be something and someone extraordinary for other people, right? Like the story of Jesus from just a pure human perspective is I'm going to hug this cross. I'm going to brace it with everything that I have so that I can turn around and give abundant life to every other person on the planet, right?
It's like, okay, you have the actual ability to transform your suffering. Into something that blesses every other person that you meet for the rest of your life, like no one can decide whether or not that happens, but you and claiming that is, I think that changed my life and I think it changes anyone's life who's going [00:14:00] through a particular struggle.
Joey: His story is amazing. It's so inspiring how he went from feeling like a victim. to embracing his suffering and even seeing it as a challenge. And I spent time in person with Jack and I have to say, I just have so much respect for the man. He's just amazing. And so I'm excited for you to learn from him in episode one, 23.
Brie Solstad joined us in episode 126 titled Former Porn Actress, over 90 percent of people in porn are from broken families. Her story is absolutely unreal. She went from being a top selling porn actress to quitting her job and completely turning her life around. But her exit from that life didn't lead to immediate bliss.
She had to work through a lot of brokenness, including self hate. Have you been tempted to kind of hate yourself for your past? Um, and if so, how have you dealt with that?
Bree: Certainly. Like I said, it's not just about porn production. It's like all of us, you know, we [00:15:00] all have pasts, we all have sins, we all have regrets.
And I think really one of the best ways that I've dealt with this is, again, while talking to people who have been there, who Also made poor decisions and then have rectified, remedied their lives, you know, where like you can read again, you can read about different saints that, and they're not all spectacular, you know, Mother Teresa, like a lot of them come from certain backgrounds and then have changed for the better.
You know, a lot of people. Mary Magdalene to me and she was a prostitute and then, you know, she became one of Jesus's most trusted disciples. But also you can find those people in your life now. I can't stress the importance of, you know, talking to other people, especially in your own situations. [00:16:00] Initially when I quit drinking, AA was a huge resource for me.
And during that first year, it was really one of the best things that had ever happened to me. It was the greatest thing in my life. And a lot of that is because You know, I talked with people who were freely, openly discussing all the horrible things that they did when, you know, they were drinking and now, okay.
So not only was that like completely mind blowing that you're just like openly talking about how you got fired from your job or how you stole your daughter's lunch money. Like to buy booze. You're just saying that, like that is inspirational. And once you've told your rock bottom story to a room full of complete strangers, your life will never be the same.
And so things like that, I think are really helpful and they're helpful to understand that you're not alone. They're helpful to understand that other people have. I've done these things and worse, and it's helpful to see people who have done [00:17:00] these things worse and now are better because they've stopped doing them.
Yeah, I've definitely been tempted, you know, several times in my life to, and I've gone as far as to say that, yeah, there were many, many years that I think that I just completely hated myself, but I hated myself more when I was in amongst the detrimental behavior, when I was drinking, when I was doing porn.
And now that I'm out of it. I like the way that you said it's tempting to still hate myself, but I have a hard time hating myself these days. I don't know if that sounds like you go to school, but, um, it's a good thing. It's a good, yeah. Yeah. Um, because I just, I mean, the people that I engage with, the people that are in my life, my work is so rewarding.
I have all these incredible people and I have all these incredible resources and all this great love and beauty and just abundance, and it's hard to hate myself because everything's just, you know, I mean, you know, like there's still tragedy, [00:18:00] like I said, but I have this whole toolbox full of resources that I can go to when I'm, you know, in, when I'm in the dumps, or like, even when, like, something will trigger a bad emotion or a bad memory.
And, and then I can go to this toolbox and I have different people, different things that I can listen to, different things that I can read, different prayers that I can say. Whereas before when I was an alcoholic or when I did porn, my toolbox was like things that are just going to make me feel worse.
And they're not really helpful at all, you know, like alcohol or sleeping around, any of those things.
Joey: I, I hear you, and, yeah, I think it's a temptation for all of us in one way or another, like, to have, like, that proper love of ourselves, like, where it's not, like you said, on one extreme, egotistical, we're obsessed with ourselves, but the other end, it's a really bad and unhealthy thing to hate yourself, to think so lowly of yourself, so I love that you're in that, like, in that good spot now.
I [00:19:00] really appreciated Bree's vulnerability in that episode and especially her tip to just surround yourself and talk with people who have struggled with what you've struggled with and have accomplished what you want to accomplish, whether that's in person or through content like books, podcasts, and so on, their stories can really be fuel for us and a guide for those of us who, you know, again, are struggling, maybe where they struggle.
And so if you want more from Bree, listen to episode 126. For countless teens and young adults, their parents divorce is actually the most traumatic thing that they've experienced, but so many feel lost and alone in navigating the challenges. I've been there myself. It's really not easy and it shouldn't be this way.
My book, It's Not Your Fault, guides them through those challenges by helping them put their pain into words and begin to heal, work through the emotional problems that they face, cope in healthy ways instead of falling into bad habits, improve their relationship with their parents, navigate the holidays and other life events, and build healthy relationships and so much more.
One Amazon review said this, this book is packed full of really practical help. If you come from a broken family or even if you don't, but you [00:20:00] love someone that does, this book is so helpful. I can't recommend this enough. By the way, it's a quick read and it doesn't need to be read cover to cover since it's in question and answer format.
You can just read one of the questions and one of the answers. And so if you want to join the thousands of people who've gotten a copy, just go to restored ministry. com slash book. Books, uh, to get the book or download the free chapters again, that's restored ministry. com slash books, or just click the link in the show notes.
Episode one 30 with Dr. Peter Malinowski is up next titled an exercise to heal. And we talk a lot in this clip and in this episode about internal family systems. And he's just a wealth of knowledge on internal family system. And he's helped so many people to heal through his practice. And so in this clip, he talks about how we often feel.
Conflicted inside ourselves.
Dr. Peter: The central ideas within internal family systems or parts and systems work is that yes, we are one, but we're also many kind of like an orchestra is one, but it's also got these component parts [00:21:00] to it. Right. And so what I think is really helpful is to understand how different parts react to different experiences.
So let's just take the case of a divorce. I think there is many reactions to parents divorcing as there are parts within us. And these parts are, are often at fighting about that. They're polarized about this. One part, you know, is really wanting to connect with mom and dad and make peace. Peace in the family.
Another part's really angry at mom and dad and wants to be able to express that as a need to sort of get that out and to make them hear right. And another part is really afraid of what would happen if, if we were real. So there's this internal civil war going on with all these different factions, aligning and polarizing.
And what I love about internal family systems and parts of systems approaches is that it helps us to make sense of the chaos inside. And it helps us to be able to communicate that and to share it and to get it out and to understand it. And it ultimately, it helps us to love ourselves, [00:22:00] to love our neighbors, and ultimately to love God, to carry out the two great commandments, which is what really floats my boat about this is that it helps us to carry out the two great commandments upon which the entirety of the law and prophets hang.
And that's the summary of our Catholic faith.
Joey: Honestly, it's so helpful to hear that there's a tool out there like internal family systems to just understand all the chaos inside of us, especially when we're really stressed or struggling. And so listen to episode 130 with Dr. Peter for more information on internal family systems and other tips on how to heal.
Next is episode 132 with Dr. Greg Bitaro. Why your wounds and subconscious are ruling your life. Dr. Bitaro is just a wealth of knowledge as well. He knows so much about brokenness and healing. This episode was really fun, especially since we answered a lot of audience questions. And so in this clip we discuss how some people are actually skeptical about healing and think that maybe you should just move on with life and not spend any time healing.
[00:23:00] Some people who kind of have this perspective that if things are going well in your life, there's no use in digging up like past trauma and brokenness. That's like one school of thought I've heard. On the other end, um, people think that no, there is a lot of value in that because while you might be okay now, if there's stuff under the surface, it can grow and then you might be facing that in a few years.
Do you side with one of those schools of thoughts or neither altogether?
Dr. Bottaro: Well, I could totally understand why people don't want to look at that stuff and why people would get jaded About the value of digging stuff up and all that. But I mean, this is directly from John Paul too, that we become more human.
The more we become aware of the things that are buried in our unconscious. And the more that we dredge out the material of our unconscious, that's actually motivating and influencing us. Like Carl Jung also said. We're always going to be sort of enslaved to unconscious motivations, and so to become fully free, to become fully human, to become fully agents of our own self [00:24:00] determination, we have a responsibility to bring out the things from our unconscious and to put them into the light of conscious awareness.
So that we can see clearly why we're doing what we're doing and constantly move more towards a full ownership over self and ownership of the decisions that we're making. And if we just let the past be the past and never really look at it, it's ignoring a fundamental part of our anthropology of how God built us.
Our past is influencing the way that we are acting in the present. So we, we owe it to God and to ourselves to look at it.
Joey: Elsewhere in that episode, he talks about how healing happens in relationship, how we need other people in order to heal, especially mentors. And that's so important to remember, because I think, especially for people like us, we sometimes think that we can heal on our own, but that's actually not possible, but healing isn't a checklist, right?
It's not a checklist of tasks that we complete. It involves being seen, known, and even loved, uh, more than it involves checking boxes. And so for more wisdom from [00:25:00] Dr. But taro, listen to episode one 32. Last, but certainly not least is episode 136 with Bobby and Jackie Angel. If you haven't heard of them, you're in for a treat.
They're an amazing married couple and amazing speakers and podcasters who just give awesome relationship advice. And in this clip, we discuss how people like us who come from broken families often feel lots of anxiety about relationships in general, which makes it really tricky to discern whether the person we're seeing is the right one for us.
Jackie and Bobby Angel: And the problem is we always are trying to make the shoe fit. When we have the wrong person, we're like, I just want to make it fit. And we kind of know inherently like, no, we, I feel like I did that in so many other relationships. You're like, oh, but there were signs like this person's name I saw on the street side.
We just try to make the wrong shoe fit so often. I think that's where it becomes really difficult. And then when we find the person we're actually supposed to be with, it's like, Oh, like this, I really do have a friendship with this [00:26:00] person, but Bobby, what would you, What would you say to that and add?
Bobby Angel: Yeah, everything Jackie said, uh,
Jackie and Bobby Angel: just, just
Bobby Angel: rewind and listen to it again.
I mean, I, I think two of, we can have a part of us that just is tempted to self sabotage. And afraid of the thing that we want the most and what if it what if it falls through because how I've been wounded by divorce or or how I've been rejected. So sometimes there is that in a generalized anxiety sense that temptation to to self sabotage and maybe it's because a part of us thinks that I don't deserve this.
I don't deserve this relationship. I don't deserve the love of this person. I mean, my spiritual director told me. When I was tempted, I had a moment of like, this is too good to be true. Like when Jackie and I just really started to click in, he's like, don't refuse the gift. Like recognize what God is allowing to happen and what you've been praying for.
It's finally happening. And to know like, there's a part of you that is really quick to be self critical and think, I don't deserve [00:27:00] this. This is, you know, don't get my hopes up. And it's like, no, no, no. Just receive the gift.
Jackie and Bobby Angel: And on the opposite spectrum is that when you are with the wrong person, it's good to like talk to your family and your friends because you know, there are moments like I was with the wrong person and my friends like, yeah, we don't like this guy.
And, and then when Bobby, like Bobby was engaged prior to, and the girl that he was with, his own family was like, you're not yourself. And his friends were like, you're not Bobby. Like, you're not you when you're with this girl. Like you are not as fun. You're not as happy. And so it's also good to have our people outside of the relationship help to see maybe some blind spots that we can't see.
Bobby Angel: Even to risk the friendship because sometimes we've pushed away the voices of accountability in our lives because we don't want to be seen. We're not proud of what we're doing or the behaviors we're doing, or we don't want to be told. So I, I had friends put the friendship on the line and be like, you may not want to hear this, but we don't think this girl, like it's, it's, it's right.
It's healthy and you know, [00:28:00] it's stung. But at the same time, the part of me is like, like craving for like a smack on the face. You know, we, we know there's a better option here for everyone. And yeah, like sometimes we need the friends. To tear the roof off and lower us to Jesus, because we're just so broken.
We're so paralyzed with our own fear or our own addictions, whatever. Like we need the help of friends and family to bring us to Jesus to intervene. So if you're listening, and there's someone in your life that you've have felt the nudge to reach out to talk to, like, That, you know, might be the Holy Spirit.
Jackie and Bobby Angel: Yeah, please, for the love of God, do it. I've just had women reach out to me who were months away from a marriage, and even just them reaching out to me on Instagram, and I'm like, oh my gosh, you are just saying so many red flags, and they're like, no, but I can't imagine life without this person, and blah, blah, blah.
I'm like, I'm just repeating back to you what you just said to me, and you know, it might take a while for them to kind of But it's like you wouldn't have reached out to me [00:29:00] if you, you know, you didn't kind of know at a deeper level, like this wasn't right. So yeah, marriage, I'm all about like, but again, better 14 broken engagements than one broken marriage.
And again, if this, if you guys know this, you know, this from experience, you know, what a broken marriage can do and how it affects generations, like how it affects you and it affects. And so we know. So I, I don't want that to scare you on finding the right person, but I think, listen to what, like what Bobby said, like when you're with the wrong person, there's a way that it feels and your friends and family can see it.
But when you're with the right person, don't self sabotage. And also there will be people around you who will see like, no, this person's amazing and really good for you and you can be yourself. You know, you don't need to second guess that you're attracted to them. And there's a beautiful friendship there.
Joey: A lot of solid and perhaps even sobering advice in that clip, but I think it will save you a lot of heartache if you take it to heart and to benefit from more wisdom from Bobby and Jackie, just listen to episode one 36. That wraps up this [00:30:00] episode. Again, if you want to listen to any of the episodes in their entirety, just go ahead and check the show notes for a list of the episodes that we featured from our team at Restored.
We're just honored to serve you guys and we wish you the best in the next year. And if this podcast has helped you, feel free to subscribe or follow an Apple podcast, Spotify, YouTube, or your podcast app. Not only is that the best way to avoid missing future episodes, but the more subscribers we have, the more the apps will suggest our show to people who are looking for help.
And it only takes a few seconds. If you've already done that, feel free to rate or view this show. We. Really appreciate that feedback. And that also helps us to reach more people, more people to find the podcasts. In closing, always remember you are not doomed to repeat your family's dysfunction. You can break that cycle and build a better life, and we're here to help.
And keep in mind the words of C. S. Lewis who said, You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.