The Scary Thing Is That I Feel Nothing
2 minute read
This story was written by an anonymous contributor at 23 years old. His parents divorced when he was 14 years old. He gave permission for his story to be shared.
HIS STORY
Well, before all this, I was used to my parents fighting at home. I remember one time the fight got really bad. It got to the point where my dad was strangling my mum. I was a kid at the time and I remember trying to pull his hands off her neck. The scary thing about all this is that I feel nothing when revisiting this memory. Anyway, before the divorce, there was another nasty fight just before I went back to school from a school break we were taking. ( I was in a boarding high school at the time).
At the end of that semester my mum came for me at school as usual, but this time she told me we would be going to a new house and that she and my father had separated. She explained that the separation had to happen to make sure the fighting at home did not get worse. I talked to my dad that day and all he asked me was what I thought about the whole divorce situation. That was all the explanation I got on that day and since then I have been navigating the holidays by just thinking about who I will visit and for how long.
HOW THE DIVORCE MADE HIM FEEL
To be honest, nothing. I never dealt with it, all I remember doing is agreeing to all explanations and moving on like nothing was different. I still do this to date.
HOW HIS PARENTS' DIVORCE HAS IMPACTED HIM
I am just learning about the impact of the divorce even as I type this. I find it hard to trust and I appreciate that this has strained most of my friendships. I have never been in a romantic relationship (which is embarrassing considering almost everyone I know has been in one) and I find it hard to connect to people intimately. I have struggled with substance abuse (marijuana), porn, and suicidal thoughts for the past few years. Fortunately, I was able to kick the marijuana use a few months ago. My self-esteem has also been severely impacted and I am trying to improve this because otherwise, I become too self-conscious and unable to properly interact with others.
HOW TO HELP YOUNG PEOPLE FROM DIVORCED OR SEPARATED FAMILIES
Free or affordable resources such as Restored, therapy, and counseling should be availed for those affected because the healing goes a long way in living a fulfilled life.
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