My Parents' Divorce Made It Hard for Me to Believe in Lasting Love
1 minute read
This story was written by Shenandoah Lawson at 30 years old. Her parents divorced when she was 12 years old. She gave permission for her story to be shared.
HER STORY
My parents should have never gotten married. There was no love between them. They only got married because my mom got pregnant with my older sister and my father guilted my mother into marrying him, saying that she would go to Hell if she didn't.
HOW THE DIVORCE MADE HER FEEL
Honestly, my parents’ divorce was a relief at first. We didn't have to hear them fight every day, but then things got very bitter and we hardly saw my mom. My dad used us and tried to turn us against her which was so hurtful because she was my hero growing up.
HOW HER PARENTS' DIVORCE HAS IMPACTED HER
My parents’ divorce made it very hard for me to believe in lasting love. I felt scared of and unworthy of love. My father never made me feel beautiful and the fact that I always had to try so hard to earn his love set me up for giving too much in relationships because I felt I wasn't enough and had something to prove.
ADVICE TO SOMEONE WHOSE PARENTS HAVE DIVORCED OR SEPARATED
We are the sum of many broken parts, but that doesn't mean we are broken. We can choose to love and live better. We are not destined to make the same mistakes, but we can learn from them.
HOW TO HELP YOUNG PEOPLE FROM DIVORCED OR SEPARATED FAMILIES
I like to say "When your heart hurts, love even more." I think looking for ways to practice showing and receiving love helps heal so much, whether it's volunteering or working somewhere that requires you to show patience and empathy.
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