#027: Tips for Building a Great Marriage from an Amazing Couple - Part 1 | Joe & Maria Keller
If you want to build a great marriage, follow the advice of couples who’ve done it. Spend time with them and learn from their example and wisdom.
That's exactly what we do in this episode with the most beautiful married couple Joey knows, Joe and Maria Keller. They offer a roadmap and inspiration for those of us from broken families who often feel lost in building love that lasts:
How to handle personality differences and conflict
The #1 thing you can do for your kids and friends as a married couple
The most important ingredients to build a great marriage
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TRANSCRIPT
Transcript produced by artificial intelligence. Please pardon any errors!
If you wanna build a great marriage, spend time with couples, who've actually done it. Not just the people who study it or write about it, that can be useful and good, but spend time with couples. Who've actually done it and learn from their example and their wisdom. And that's exactly what we do. In today's episode, I interview a couple that has truly the most beautiful marriage that I've ever seen.
They've inspired me so much over the years, and I've learned a ton from them about love and marriage. And so I want you to learn from them too, and I'm super excited for you guys to, to meet them. But why are we doing this in the first place? Why is this so important? Especially for people who come from broken homes whose parents are separated or divorced.
Basically because we lack roadmap for love. We've seen a broken model of love and marriage. And so when it's our turn, we often feel lost. We feel alone and we're unsure of how to go about building love. That lasts. Also, we may just be afraid of love and marriage to begin with. That was certainly my story because, you know, I saw how badly things ended with my parents.
And I knew that I didn't wanna repeat that in my own relationship. And I know that so many people like us feel that way as well. And so we need a roadmap for love and we need hope that love and marriage can actually last. And those are two things that I've gotten from my relationship with a couple that I interviewed today.
And so I wanted to share it. With you, we'll also talk about how they handle their personality, differences, how they deal with conflict between them. And they also give us advice about the best thing that you can do for your kids. And really anyone who knows you as a couple, we break down the most important ingredients to build a great marriage and they give encouragement for any of us who feel like maybe we can't have that.
Maybe we can't build a great marriage because of what we've experienced in our families. There's so much practical in this episode from this beautiful, married couple. Also at the end, we'll mention a free virtual event that we're doing with the culture project. You'll hear about how you can sign up for that.
The different talks we're given. We're given two talks, one for people who come from broken homes and anyone who loves or leads them. So more info about that at the end. So if any of that sounds useful, keep listening.
Welcome to the restored podcast, helping you cope, heal, and grow from the trauma of your parents' divorce or separation. So you can feel whole again. I'm your host, Joey Pelli. Thank you so much for listening. This is episode 27 and this is part one of two. We're gonna just do one episode, but the interview went kind of long.
So we broke it into two to make it more digestible for you. We're also in the middle of our love and relationship series. Research shows that the biggest effects from our parents' divorce are actually experienced in our romantic relationships. Why is that? Like I said, at the top of the show, basically, because we don't have a roadmap of love.
We've seen that broken model of love and marriage. And so when it's our turn, we feel lost and we struggle in, in numerous ways in our relationships. And so we're bringing you a roadmap, actionable tips and expert advice on. Find and build authentic love. My guest today are Joe and Mariat Keller. Joe is number eight of nine children, actually huge family.
He grew up in Waukegan, Illinois. He graduated college with a degree in political science, with a focus in business and philosophy. He serves as the executive director of the Fox waterway agency. Although his dream job is being the best husband and father to his wife and amazing kids. Maria is a native of Spain.
She's the oldest of five children. And she moved to the United States after graduating from the autonomous university of Madrid. I was gonna try to say that in Spanish, but I'll spare you all my Spanish as pretty rusty. She graduated with a degree in business administration last year, she was actually promoted to the position of full-time mother, which she absolutely loves her greatest joy is spending time with her husband, whom she grudgingly shares with their children.
They've six kids, one who passed away as you'll hear us talk about in the interview. And you're also gonna hear some of the kids in the background, which I love. They have such a beautiful and real family. And for those of you who aren't religious there, there's a bit of talk about God and faith. It's just so core to who Joe and Maria are.
And it's true. The reason they would say that they're so joyful, but even without those parts, you're still gonna get a ton out of this episode. So keep listening. If you can keep an open mind and honestly you may be tempted to think when you're listening to them that this is fake, but it is not fake.
Like this is not. Them posing. This is actually real. And so anyone who knows them like me knows that they're just, they're so real. They're so genuine. And what you see is what you get. So here's part one of my conversation with Joe and Maria Keller, Joe and Maria, welcome to the show. I'm so happy that you're here.
We're so excited to be here. Thank you, Joe. It's great to be with you. It's no surprise to you or really anyone listening that there's a lot of brokenness in our world. There's a lot of broken marriages and broken families. And for those of us who come from broken homes that can present some challenges, we can become scared of love and marriage.
I know I experienced that. And so many people that we work with experience that as well. We really don't wanna repeat that cycle of brokenness, that cycle of divorce in our own marriages, but we look around and we see, you know, broken marriages all around us. We look at the divorce statistics that we all know.
Um, but even those marriages that stay together, so many of them are medioc. And we really don't wanna emulate them either. So many other, those couples would say that their marriages are unhappy or even miserable. Some of them would say they're even miserable, but you guys are different. You wouldn't describe your marriage like that.
How, how would you describe your marriage? Well, I have to be super, super honest. I thought when Joe and I were engaged at, he was the greatest guy in the world and that I was going to be, uh, so happy for the rest of my life. And then I married him and I realized, oh my goodness, I totally fooled this poor guy because he's even more amazing than what I thought he was
So I am aesthetically happy. This is the best decision that I made to marry this man. And I'm happy. My wife is blind
so we've been married for 15 years. We have six kids ages, uh, 13 to five. And, uh, we've been blessed to know the Contreras for quite a while. Now we love you guys. And I have to say that you both have been such an inspiration to me. You have modeled so well. Uh, what it looks like to, to live out a beautiful marriage and not, not a perfect marriage, I'm not, you know, I'm sure I know you have your own struggles, but you guys live out such a beautiful model of what, what it could look like, what it really should look like.
So I just wanna say thank you so much for that. I, I wanna get into your story. Tell us a little bit about your story. How, how did you meet, uh, Joey? Actually, it was about 2002. Uh, Maria came here from Spain. And she stayed at my oldest sister Kathy's house. Uh, as you might remember, I'm, I'm the eighth of nine kids, big family.
Yeah. And my oldest sister, Kathy is also my godmother. And, uh, I, I heard that there was a, a young lady staying in her house for the summer and long story short. I had my sisters that wanted introduce me to her. It was a kiss of the
So I heard that and I'm like, that's okay. Cuz I'd kind of been there, done that with sisters, trying to set me up. So it was at the end of the summer, I met her, uh, at a little family camp that we had and I said, who's that girl over there? And my brother-in-laws were like, Maria, the girl that your sister's been trying to introduce you to I'm like, oh, okay.
So my mom's a dance teacher, as you might remember. And Maria, uh, along with some nieces and nephews were gonna do a little performance for my mom called the Jan review and Maria was going to demonstrate how Flaco dancing works. And of course she needed someone to, she needed someone to come demonstrate with her.
And, um, how co. I tried and I didn't know what I was doing, but she spun and I spun and then she looked at me and she says, you don't turn your back on a woman. You never turn your back on a woman. and then the rest is history. Here we are. I haven't turned my back on her since Joey. I love it. I love it. And, and Joe, you went after Maria, uh, in Spain, didn't you?
I did Joey. So she was, uh, if I, if I didn't mention it, but she, that was like right at the end of her trip. So she was gonna be going back to Spain two days later. So I had the opportunity to visit with her the night before she left and we just talked and she told me about her, her faith, and she told me kicking interrupt.
Yeah. So I had, sorry. So I had never, I never went to a Catholic school. I was a CRA Catholic and so on. You know, the, the night when we went out, went out with a bunch of other people. . But at the end of the night, Joe took me home and he asked me, he said, um, would you please pray for me? And it was really the first time that I met a young handsome man who was asking me for prayers.
And so I thought, well, there must be something wrong with him. Like, why is he asking me for prayers ? And so I said, sure. And I think in particular, and his answer really touched me. He said, you know, I really don't know what God wants in my life. And I want to be able to figure it out and be brave and say yes.
And that really, it was like a slap to my face because I thought, you know, my prayer's pretty mediocre. Like I'm just having God, you know, this is what I wanted my life and places make it happen. And so it really, you know, although I did not, obviously did not know what God's, um, world was for, for us or when anything like that.
I did not for one second. Imagine. My future with Joe, but it really changed my prayer life. And, um, and it just really helped me to embrace whatever God wanted. And so that was my first impression, like, wow, it's pretty amazing. There's somebody brave enough to pray that prayer. And I will say this Joe, on that note, I, as a young kid, I never really envision myself getting married.
My parents are wonderful. They're still married. But during that time in my life growing up, I, uh, I saw a lot of turmoil in my own house and it wasn't something that where I said, Hey, I wanna be like them. So I always envisioned a different vocation for me. In fact, I remember one night, um, my parents really struggling having a really difficult time.
And, you know, there was some yelling, there was some chaos. And I remember getting down on my knees and saying, Lord, you know, bring peace to my home. Um, and I must have been maybe eight years old, nine years old, and I just prayed for peace and. Shortly after that. Very difficult moment. I remember, uh, my dad asking me he was reading the newspaper.
He says, Hey, do you wanna play football? And I was a fourth grader, you know, I wasn't really enamored with playing football, but it seemed like he wanted me to play football. And my thought was as well, if I play football, uh, maybe it's something that he would enjoy, uh, and that could be helpful in bringing peace to my home.
So mm-hmm, I remember as a young boy playing football and how much enjoyment my dad got out of watching me. Um, so I would, I will say this, uh, never was there a night, like there was that particular night when there was a lot of turmoil and slowly but surely I saw God bring peace to my home, which was really.
A blessing. That's beautiful. And, and that's, that was really hopeful message that it is possible to, to bring peace to troubled homes. I know, uh, it sounds like you can relate to a lot of the people listening right now, who, who do come from that really difficult situation? Well, I think for me, prayer is pretty simple.
Sometimes, you know, you can say some of these great prayers that we all maybe know and, and say regularly, but at that young age, I remembered a three word prayer and it was, God helped me when those are the only words you can utter during very difficult times, I will say never, never once has that prayer been unanswered.
And, uh, from that young age, frankly, that's been a great foundation, uh, for, I know my life and now our lives as parents raising, uh, five wonderful children, uh, one we sent to the good Lord and. Of course meeting many wonderful friends along the way, like the Pelli family and others, where we've been able to grow close to.
Uh, I'm gonna kind of fast forward, cuz I know you have such a beautiful story and we probably should do a whole podcast episode on that, but getting into, uh, your marriage and how you've really built it. And I know it's not something you would take full credit for, but um, I wanna talk a little bit about some practical things.
A lot of couples struggle with their personality differences, you know, one's one way one's the other way. And I'm just curious how, how do you two handle your personality differences? Thank God my wife is so patient. That's all I can say. you're hilarious. No, I think like we're, we're pretty different.
Obviously we're complimentary because we're men and female, but I think the biggest thing to realize is that you cannot change the other person. The only person you can change is yourself. And so if something bothers you about the other person. It's gonna be close, impossible to change them, that reaction, or, you know, even coming from a different culture background, some things might just, you know, to this day seem strange or, you know, whatever sure.
You can't, you can't change the other. Person's like way of doing things, but you can't change that. It annoys you, you know, you can change, you can. Um, I always tell the children, you know, the smile is a muscle. The more you smile, the easier it will be. And it's a great modification. Um, obviously we, we pray together and I'm like an open book sometimes I think a little bit too much.
uh, but I think it's important if there's something that bothers you, that you bring it up, not, not in front of the kids and not in the heat of the moment. I know many times at weddings people, you know, people here at the homily, oh, you know, don't go to bed when you're angry. Well, I think sometimes not when there's like something like huge, of course, but I think sometimes you like, you're so tired and if you're really going to start having a discussion, it's just gonna go down the drain.
I mean, it really will just because you both really tired and in the morning after a good night's sleep, things look so much better. This is like how I, I, and like 90% of the things you don't even have to bring up because it was just your own being tired and just taking things the wrong way. Um, and just realizing the other person on the other side of, of the room or the kitchen or the bed, whatever, they're not your worst enemy.
They're your best friend. Like you chose them over all of the other people in the whole world to spend the rest of the time of your life in eternity. And God has given you the grace. So it's, you know, even if you sometimes think, oh, that hurt me what they said, what they did realize, you know, what that person lost me.
So, so much. Like, let me try to look it through their glasses. Like, you know, and sometimes you can't and you just bring it up and say, you know, they hurt me or whatever. And it's really, I told just Joey a few days ago. It's so freeing to say, you're sorry. And you know, when, when you're blessed with children, even like to the children, I mean many times I mu it into an older mom and it's so nice to tell it to the kids.
I'm sorry. And they're they have such generous heart. They're mommy. It's okay. Don't worry. I forgive you. And it's so nice in marriage also to say I'm sorry. And for the other person not to say, oh no, no, you don't have to be sorry. No. I forgive you just give a big string hug, just start it over again. I love the point you made about changing.
Like you can change. That's something that I think a lot of people are confused about. You can change. You're not the fixed person. You can improve. You can get better, you can develop virtue. And there was a quote I saw recently had said, people can change. You can't change them. and I love. You can only change yourself.
Exactly. And the point you made too, is so good at seeking to, to understand before being understood. That's really hard to do. I can tell you that, but, um, but when you do it helps resolve situations so much quicker, it reduces drama. It, it makes life so much easier overall, but, um, but it's difficult to do, but equally important.
I think another thing that's really important Joey is when you have like a, you know, a discussion and I do think discussions are important and nice just because it, I mean, it brings interesting conversation. If we agreed on everything that, I mean, our conversations would be pretty boring. Uh, so I think it's good to have strong opinions.
I think it's good to have different opinions. Uh, but when there is like some, you know, hurt or something to repeat what the other person's said, you know, say this, did you mean this? Just because number one, it gives you. An opportunity to exercise self control. You're not really reacting to what they said.
You're repeating, you're concentrated on them. Um, and then the other person also hears what they said. Well, no, that's not exactly how I meant that this is what I meant. And you both tend to cool off and to understand, um, each other's point of view and, and maybe the, the tone you said it, or the emphasis, you put the different perspectives.
So I think that's important too. Absolutely. And one thing I'll add as well, Joey, you know, there's all there's habits that I have right now that I know are aggravating to Maria. And there
you're so honest. I love it. They're aggravating to me. And they're probably aggravating to my kids and other people, but in the spirit of love, certain things can be point out, pointed out and we can help each other with those things. My lovely wife is very ordered. Very organized. I might tend to be a little bit more off the cuff and spontaneous.
Okay. just a little bit just amid, you know, here's the thing, the reality of it is is this as much as we can help each other with those things, as it was stated so earlier, you know, we need to make those changes from within. And what I find is, is going back to that simple prayer, God helped me, uh, is also if there's certain things that I identify or my lovely wife helps to identify within me.
I realize that many of those things are too big or too difficult for me to handle. So I have to ask help. And I find that, you know, when my wife's used the term before, when we lost his. Like, you know, you're, you're a prayer beggar. You, you, you pray for, you know, you beg for, you know, prayers. Uh, but with that respect, you also ask God, help me with this.
Or can you help me with that? And you find that little by little, you could make improvements with these things. Um, but you know where it starts for me. I know. And I, I know Maria takes this just as seriously as you wake up at a set time in the morning, the alarm goes off. You, you know, within, within a minute you get outta bed and you go after another day and maybe the day before, wasn't so good, but you know, you shoot at it again and you start your day with prayer, you know, and 30 minutes, a good 30 minutes to, to start your day.
That way kind of kicks things off. And, and that's kind, it sets the tone, it sets the tone and, and that's where you're like, God help me. You know, let's, let's, let's go after this day and let's try to work on some of these weaknesses that, you know, I have that I'm born with, or that I have have had for a long time.
And you could help me overcome myself. Uh, so that could be a better husband, better worker, better son, father, cetera. You made me think of, uh, the quarterback for the, uh, Colts right now, Phillip rivers. He has this hat that says NOK Chapi, which means, you know, begin a new begin again. And, uh, he, he's just a great guy.
Yeah, he he's, he's fantastic, but it's such a good reminder. And he uses that in the football field, but he uses in life too. How you're gonna screw up. You're gonna make mistakes. You're gonna be imperfect, but if you could just restart, reset and you know, Joe, I know you're an athlete and, um, that's so important in athletics, but it's also important in life and especially in marriage.
Absolutely. You know, I many times think about, you know, we, we share a common faith. Um, I many times think about our Lord and how he fell and how he fell three times. And sometimes I wonder, well, why wasn't. Just once. Why was it it, you know, why, why was it three times? And I think the, the, the, at least what, one of the things I take from it is, um, he's showing us something there.
Not only was he physically exhausted, he was giving his entire life and, and everything else that goes along with it, but he got up three times and he kept getting it up and he kept pushing towards where he wanted to go. Mm-hmm him being God, there was probably a way for him not to fall if he really wanted it, but he's human and he fell and we fell a lot more than sometimes three times in a big given day.
And yes, we have to get, get up and keep on going after it. And I think, you know, borrowing from that same, um, image going up to go with that. I think sometimes when the cross, I mean, we all encounter the cross at one point or another in our lives. Mm-hmm, , um, it's just a matter of time and I think it's beautiful to see also.
That. And it helped me a lot, um, to see that Jesus, God could not bear the weight of the cross. It was so, so heavy, so crushing that it would just drag him to the floor. And he couldn't. I mean, he, he, he only could like lift the back up and that he needed the help of a, um, of a farmer coming out, you know, coming back to his home seminar Cyrene and they had to force him to help Jesus.
And so many times when there's a big cross or a little cross, and, uh, most of all, like, you know, when we lost our son, I would just tell Jesus, you know, I cannot with this cross, this is way too heavy. Like you be my Simon or serving. I need you to help me carry this cross. And so that's my mental, like work cry.
Like sometimes when you know, I'm having a hard day, this, that I, I just tell him you be my Simon, come on, pick up this cross. I can't do it by myself. So. It's uh, it's good. Like Joe says to keep the, the prayer ongoing, um, and just have a conversation with God that really sets the tone for the day. That's beautiful.
One thing that you, you said too, you guys are different, you have different personalities, but I could tell you compliment each other well, and I think that's so beautiful. You know, Joe, you balance up Maria or you balance up Joe and, uh, I, I think that's one of the purposes of marriage, right? One of the purposes of marriage is to help each spouse become the best version of themselves.
And so that's exactly, I think what happens though, when we have those personality difference, those personality differences, it's not. How perfect a couple can fit together, but really what they do in those moments when they disagree, when they fight, how they handle those, I think is an indication of how healthy and how successful that their marriage will be.
And another thing that you mentioned too, is just Maria, you were touching on communication. It it's. So we'll talk about that a little bit more, but it's so easy to, if you've ever played the, the game telephone, right? Where you pass a message through a line, it's so easy to misconstrue what other people are saying.
And I saw a great, uh, diagram that said, you know, when you're communicating something to someone else you can think of, uh, on the left side, you, you have, uh, what you mean. And then you can think of an arrow that goes across, then what you say. So what you mean, then what you say, what comes outta your mouth?
And then on the person on the receiving side, you draw another arrow. It's what they hear. Mm-hmm and then what they understand. And then the cycle repeats itself in, in a circle. They, they mean something. They say something, you hear it, and then you understand it. And in that, in that process, uh, things can be misunderstood misconstrued.
And so I love what you said to, to repeat, to reflect what the other person is saying. That's a really practical tip that someone can start using right now, if they're not. And is that thing like we're, so, uh, we live in a society where everything has to be like really, really fast and like, it's, we're all reacting to stimuli and sometimes it's good.
And Joe helps me because he's a very calm person. Hmm. You know, like when somebody says something just to take like three seconds, not to be like under defensive, not to be like right away, giving, having the answer. It's like, you know, sometimes it's good to say, well, thank you. Like, let me, let me think about it.
Let me pray about it. Like, or, you know, I, I don't have the answer. Like I'm, I really don't know. Um, and it's good to think, like, you know, to, to think about the answers to. Especially when it's important topics important, like, you know, regarding education or regarding your, your parenting or your, your marriage.
It's important to, to talk about in a calm way. It's just making sure that you understand that you speak in the same language, you know? No, I don't think anyone has ever made a good decision when they're running solely on emotion. Yeah, totally. I wanna change gears a little bit. What's the best marriage advice that, that you've been given?
Well, one of the things you always hear, and I think you, you might have reminded me of this, Joey, uh, you know, some older folks have said never go to bed angry at each other, or, you know, after a fight or something like that, that's obviously a time old, uh, uh, suggestion, but you know, on the, on the topic of communication, let me just say this, uh, there's a lot of distractions out.
and, and those distractions, aren't always healthy distractions. And I re I recall a time, you know, a few years ago, as, you know, cell phone technologies and apps and more dependency on this little device. And yeah, I get to a point where I'm having a conversation with Maria, but, you know, I'm partially somewhere else.
I'm looking down at a screen and I remember her just stopping and I looked and she's like, can you just put that down? And I realized, oh my gosh, I'm not giving my full time and heart and love to my wife. So, you know, you, we really gotta find a way to remove these distractions around us and look each other in the eyes and have a nice conversation.
And, you know, a natural short embrace. I will say this the best thing we can give to our, our, our kids. Um, if we're blessed with children, Or anybody around us for that matter in terms of sharing each other's marriage with us is the love we show for each other. Hmm. And if we can do that with each other and, and genuinely show the love that we have with each other, to those around us, whether those are children or others, that's the best gift we can give, uh, to our kids.
And that's the best gift we can give to any of our friends. The best thing I can do for the, for our kids is to love my wife as good and as best as I can. And they will be happy. And I'll give you an example. I mean, just a few months ago, I remember grabbing my lovely wife in a gentle fashion, or maybe not so gentle and we started dancing or something.
And I, I gave her a nice, you know, not a crazy kiss, but just a nice kiss in front of the kids. And I looked down at, uh, our second youngest. And she just looked up beaming at me with the biggest smile in the whole world. Yeah. And, um, and that's something that I know means the world to kids. Okay. And I certainly keep in mind your list, the, your listeners, uh, because that's maybe something that was not as, uh, uh, uh, prevalent.
Okay. And some of those households, but that's something that they can have and cherish and their, and find in their own lives. And, uh, especially with the experience, I'm sure a lot of your listeners have endured. Um, they have so much to offer in terms of finding and discovering and just living that, uh, life and that piece for me, it started as a young boy when I saw a lot of tur.
and I wanted to do what I can to change that turmoil, but all I can really do it was within myself. And I think that was something we touched on earlier. So I know I said a few things as far as advice, but, uh, in order for me to love her more and thus others, I, I need to ask for that. That's a gift. I need to ask more for that gift from God, and God will give it to you.
Increase my capacity to love, increase my capacity, to be the best husband. I can be the best father I can be. And let me tell you, get ready because it happens. Those prayers are answered ask, and you shall receive knock and the door will be open seeking. You shall find, uh, we have to ask for that. Our gift of free will is so valuable.
It just doesn't fall out of a sky. So we have to use the gifts God's given us the free will we have and simply ask. and then trust and know that the answer will come and, and that peace and love will be there. So yeah. Now, um, I wanted to, and also, you know, a few things, the first thing is just to realize if you're not married yet.
Uh, my, my mom and dad would always say, you know, when you are serious about dating somebody, make sure that number one, you bring them home so that we can get to know them because you might be so in love, you don't see like, oh my goodness, like this person is very, this very, that, like, this is person that's not good for you.
And that we can like, you know, guide, but also at the same time, look how they treat their family because not really special, you're the girlfriend. But eventually if you end up getting married, you become family and you better like the way he treats his family, because that's the way he's gonna treat you, you know?
Yeah. So that's one advice for people that are not married yet, uh, for people that are married, it's important to. That God calls us to heaven through our SP our spouses, not despite our husband or around our husband, it's with our spouses. And so it's, it's a path that we walk together and then a practical advice.
You know, we had a long distance relationship for about two and a half years, and I was at a time studying law in business administration. And I realized, you know, the only time quote unquote that I would spend with Joe is either through letters or foreign conversations or through emails. And so, um, I told, you know, I, I used to spend tons of time in the library and I had lots of friends and I told my friends that we're male.
I said, you know, we're not gonna do this. Like, I'm not going to hang out at the library and study, you know, unless, I mean, unless there's girls as a group, but I won't meet like a guy or two or whatever, and study or walk to the train station or go out for coffee, like on a break, something, because already there that's more special than the time that I get to spend with Joe.
And so it's really, really important. I mean, life gets really busy and it's really important to carve out time for selves. Like one thing that I still do to this day, you know, with a time difference, stay in Chicago, we had seven hours time difference. And sometimes I would forget to tell him something had happened or, and so I would have a list of things that I wanted to tell Joe, you know, and they weren't all like, you know, left or death matters.
There were many times were I silly things, but it's, isn't that what life is all about. Lots of little things, you know? Um, and in Spain you say a little card, you like the more. The more, you have like little encounters. That's what creates a big love, you know, mm-hmm . So to this day now, I, I still find myself using the same trick because many times, you know, we have all these children and sometimes I, I feel like I told Joe something and he's like, oh, you know, he's super surprised.
I'm thinking, oh my goodness, like, he's my best friend. And I didn't tell him. And maybe I talked to the, to the teachers about it, or maybe I talked to the, to the kids about it or to my mom. And so it's really important to keep each other on the number one, spot one, sorry. Number two, God. Number one. And use spouse number two.
And so not to take each other for granted to make sure that you carve out time to spend, you know, time with each other and you continue to have fun. I mean, life is really, really fun. Make sure you do some nice things together. Make sure you go for a walk, put the kids to bed and go for a walk or watch a movie together, or, you know, surprise spouse with, you know, a yummy.
Dessert. Well, I don't know. I mean, I love, I love cultural events. Like, you know, Joe has surprised me with, you know, going for a picnic and you know, the forest preserver, there is a concert, I mean little things like that. Didn't have to be spectacular, but it's just letting the other person know that you thinking of them, that you love them.
Just giving them a phone call in the middle of the day, just because why are you calling me just to say that I love you. You're the greatest guy in the world. And I, you know, I mean, and it's just little things like that, make sure you continue those. And they might sound like silly things, but silly things are not silly things they're not so silly.
And that's how the, you know, when, when somebody else does that, when somebody else, when you can fight into somebody else at work or at the gym about your marriage, or, you know, I'll tell you a silly little story, but we had been married for about, I don't know, maybe like 13, 14 months. And I went on a girl trip and, um, We like one of the ladies had a genius idea of going around the, the room and telling everybody, like everybody sharing what they dislike most about their husbands.
And I was appalled. I was like, what in the world? Like this is like, and keep in mind, I'm newly married. I'm like the, the young girl that just moved from Spain. So I'm like the awkward one but like, there's like, no way that number one at this point, there was nothing that I didn't like about my husband. Um, yet tell us, you know, maybe like a list of like one inch about this point, but no, um, very small print, one inch
but it's like when my, so everybody was just like sharing things and when my time came, I was the last one. I said, you. the one thing I don't like about my husband is that he's not stone rich. And in that way we could just spend every single moment together. Mm-hmm and they were like, ah, Maria, it's like, you know, honestly, it's not of your business, but I don't like about my husband.
Yeah. It's not going to make our marriage any stronger or any better. It's not gonna help you merge. So why do it? And I realized there's so much such of a need of a positive marriage. And so I got a sticker ever since. I mean, we've married 15 years. So ever since year one, I've had a sticker in my card, says, I love my husband.
You have no idea how many men have come up to me and said, wow, Your husband must be so happy that you love him so much. And there has been, there have been women, and this is, I think the sad part that said, oh, did your husband pull it out there? And I said, no, I put it on there. And when it cracks and falls out, I put another one and another one, you know, Joey, the only problem is, is when I drive the, the vehicle.
That's little confusing. That's when I get a few strange looks. So no. So I think it's, it's really important to watch your marriage with teeth and, uh, knives. Don't let anybody other than God in there. Um, I know people have great intentions and, um, great advice and solicit it or solicitate, don't do it.
Don't go down that road because you know, even if you could fight in your mom, whatever, you can forgive and forget, your mom will not forgive or forget that their little daughter was crying. This is not good. This is not healthy. It's not going to help strengthen your marriage. So in, in episode 26, we had a, a young, a woman on a, a bride.
She was newly married two years and she wrote this Facebook post. That basically was her frustration and her sadness really on how negative people are towards marriage and towards their spouses. Like you said, they maybe at work, they'll talk bad about their spouse, or they'll say bad things about marriage saying that, oh, it's nice.
You know, you like your husband now, but just wait it or, oh, this will never last things like that thinks that people actually say, and, uh, it was so discouraging to her. And so she wrote this post and it actually went viral. Anyone who's heard episode 26, you know it, uh, right now at this point it's had almost 90,000 shares.
Wow. And what it says to me, Is that, that resonates with people. People want that they want a beautiful version, a beautiful view of, of what love and marriage could and should look like. And, and that was what her post was all about. Like, why don't, why aren't we talking about what marriage could be, what it should be, how joyful it can be.
Instead of just always focusing on the difficulties, always focusing on the hard parts, the, you know, discomforts, the personality differences and all that. And like I said, it went viral. So I think a lot of people are, are hungry for that. I, I wanna go back to something you said, though, you said that you, after God, you two are the priority for each other and some marriages.
Don't say that though. Some marriages put the kids above the marriage. Why is it important to put the marriage before the kids? And why is that ultimately better for the kids too? Well, I'll just say, uh, first off that there's an order on how the kids come into the world and that starts with the marriage and, and the parents.
I mean, the thing that. When you get it mixed up, it's pretty easy for all of us to see how things get a little goofy and strange. I'm not gonna mention names, but I was at a recent, uh, friend's house. They have three wonderful kids and the kids are getting older and, uh, I've seen them do a wonderful job parenting these, these last several years.
And I've seen how much love and time and attention they put in their kids. Now, the kids are leaving the house and they look at each other like, who are you? And let me say, you know, maybe when you're in 24, 7 parenting mode and doing what you can and you know, one's running to soccer and one's running over there and no, even then.
No, no, no, no, no, no. I, I understand the kids to bed, put the kids to bed, lock their door so they cannot escape and just have time for each other. No, I get it. But my, my, and see how wonderfully she finishes my sentences. I was going say something very similar to that. Maria Love yours. Feisty Spaniard. I love it.
no, you get the point though. So that's where the, the, the, the children are fruits of that love mm-hmm . And if it's like little scene or the rest of our kids, seeing acts of affection between the parents. They need that. And that gives them a, a peace that gives them security and that, and that frankly develops self confidence and love within themselves.
If they see that reflected within their parents. And if they see it not there, that's when disorders creep and in, and doubts and fears and negativity and all of those things that frankly, all of us need to ask the Lord to take from us so we can live and carry that love. You cannot give your spouse something you don't have if you don't have that peace and that love within.
And, and we're, we're, we're blessed to know that comes from our Lord. If you don't have him within you, can't share him with your spouse, let alone your children let alone anyone you come, uh, in, in contact with in a given day. So thankfully we, we share that, that, that faith that's alive and strong. And real in our lives and that spirit, that kind of steers us away from all of the goofiness we all see in society and the world today, uh, where you're, where you can be a strong, bright light.
And, and that's the goal. I mean, we're not perfect, but that's something we strive for each day, uh, in trying to live our faith, uh, beyond Sundays. Yeah. And I think it's, you know, when you say, why is it important that, you know, the other person comes for the children? You know, I think it's, it's so important to realize that you are both complimentary, like the kids need both of you.
They need like the firmness and like the strength of the father and, you know, maybe like more the selfness or you know, of the, of the mom. Um, it's a good balance. And of course, like when, you know, you have a newborn and they're completely helpless, you just tend to like say, oh my goodness, like this person just needs me so much.
I mean, they would die without like literally die without me. And of course like is like, you know, he can help himself. Like he's, you know, um, but Jose Maria, he would say, you know, your, your spouse, your husband, actually, your husband has to be the youngest child in your heart. Meaning like the most, the one that needs you the most.
I mean, he's the one that needs you the most. Um, and you, you are a team, you know, and I think you're gonna be pretty lonely. Like Joe says, if you, if you don't keep up that friendship, I mean, just because you're married, we see we have this, you know, strange, uh, I mean, we all love happy ending like movies, but I think there's some kind of like strange distortion in Hollywood where, you know, people right up the sunset and says, there's a science, that's just married.
And it's like, oh, it's all over. Well, it's just the beginning. I mean, and if you don't keep growing, I mean, you have the grace to, to make it, you have the grace to be not just to make and be like exhausted, but to have fun and, and just love being married. uh, but, but you need to, to work at it. Just like, I mean, if you're running marathon, you know, you don't just show up and live marathon and try to win the first prize.
I mean, that's ridiculous, you know, I mean, it's like every day, day by day. And I think like, it's, you know, one thing that I, I tell people sometimes, you know, you go through ups and downs and sometimes you think like, you look at the wedding vows and I've prayed with the wedding vows before. Like, you know, like just remind yourself and you know, what you commit and in front of our Lord, just renew that, renew that, um, those vows, you know, unilaterally, like, you know, just thank God for the gift of Joe.
Um, and just realizing that some, so many times like people get, um, discouraged or, or anxious when they, when they read like for better, for worse all the days of my life, all the days of my life. It's like, who knows, like, is that like another 80 years? Like really? Am I stuck? You know what the truth is? I don't know if I'm gonna make it tomorrow.
I mean, that's the plain honest truth. Am I going? And I tell this to the kids because I don't ever want them to feel like fearful or guilty. I mean, if something ever happens to him, it's because God is like a gardener and he, he can see my whole life as if he was on top of a rooftop. And my whole life is like a parade and he wants me to go to heaven with him.
So he's going to look at the moment where I'm closest to heaven and he say, okay, this is the day I'm gonna take her with me so that she can come right away to heaven with me. And so if tonight is my time to go, it's gonna be either I swallow a cherry pit or I fall down the stairs or I have a heart attack, but today's the day.
And so, you know, no cherries tonight. but it's like, if you, if you think like that and say, you know what, I'm going to love this person for better, for worse. Like for today, And then tomorrow for today and for today. And it's like, you can do that. You can, I mean, just put yourself short term goals. Um, and you can do it and it's just gonna get better and better, you know, Joey, that's how she's able to, to carry her cross.
Ah, here comes a Marty I love it. No, man. There's so many good things that you said. I want to go back to something that, uh, you both alluded to and that is, uh, how important it is to model. Love for your children. And like you said, Joe, those of us listening who come from broken homes for it can be a difficult thing to talk about, but it's important to remember, like you said, even if that wasn't given to you, you can give that to your children.
And that's really beautiful. And that motivates me personally. It's like, that's how I get the resolution to this situation. My parents may never get back together and they probably won't, but I can give that to, to my children. I think there's so much beauty in that. And I don't think you, you two or anyone really knows the impact that modeling a beautiful love, faithful love in the good times and the bad times, how, how much that affects young people like your daughter looking up at you, dancing and kissing that is literally imprint.
In her soul, like on such a deep level that we can't even get to with words, it's, it's so beautiful. So I, that we can talk forever about that, but the model that we leave for our children, for the people around us too, if you don't have children, it, it makes all the difference. So I, I love that you said that I think that's something that everyone from a broken home, uh, can, can strive after.
And don't think if, you know, if you were never blessed having that, you do have that. I mean, look at the holy family, you know, so don't feel like, oh my goodness, like, I, I didn't have it. You can. I mean, and I, I like to go to St. Joseph, because can you imagine that hustled and, you know, Nara, like, you know, hear the sun is God, our ladies in necklace.
And so every time something went wrong in that household, I mean, it's like the only option Joseph, you know, so I like to go, but imagine like the beautiful marriage, they, they would have like the beautiful example. So I think it's important to maybe you didn't have that physical experience, but. You can draw from, from that's personal, uh, experience.
And I'm sure that people know, you know, whether it's a neighbor, whether it's like aunt uncles or friends, um, and, and you might be even having a stronger desire to make things work, to make things beautiful. And, um, honestly we all want to be happy and that's how, how you're going to be happy by loving other person.
By putting yourself down so that the other person treads slightly, you know, that's beautiful. Yeah. That's one of the things we recommend to people who come from broken homes is surround yourself with people who have healthy, beautiful marriages, and that, that will leave an imprint on you. Uh, and perhaps even override the example that maybe you saw, you know, in your home.
So that's great advice. I love that. And, uh, that's why I brought you two on the show. So I know people can see you right now, but, uh, but man, if, if you knew them the way I knew them, you would know that they just have such a beautiful love. I wanna keep moving. The next question I have for you guys is, but what do you think that the most important ingredients are to build a great marriage?
And I realize we touched on some of those, but, uh, but what, what would you say are the most important ingredients to building love that lasts? Well, I think like the first thing, uh, obviously is, is having a strong faith life, you know, realizing that the other person is a gift to you. We always be thankful for the other person to take each other for granted.
um, but then it's, I think it's also very important to keep forming yourself. And when I say forming, not just any, I mean, sometimes we're so minded, we just form ourselves in our professional, uh, real, but it's important to grow also in a, you know, in a human, in a human kind of way or a spiritual, so that you do have things to talk about that you do have conversations that you can grow together.
You can find, I mean, you can have fun together. And I think, um, that's like really a glue between faith and fun. Um, you know, I have, I have a, I'm very blessed. I have a husband who is always happy and cheerful. I know that, you know, like you, like you said, People only have get a little glimpse of him here on this podcast, but he's always happy and cheerful.
And I tell people, it's not just when he's with you. Like, that's how he is. Like 24 7. Like he wakes up and he wakes up the kids singing and it's like 6:00 AM and yes, he's singing. what's wrong with you now. I'm just kidding. That's beautiful. Sometimes I like, I'm like laying in bed. I thinking like, what did he put his coffee?
Like, I know that, you know, but it's like, I mean, the combination of like faith and fun and just not being, not being afraid of saying, sorry, nobody expects you. To be perfect. Um, and I've, you know, Joe has heard me say this probably too many times, but I think in this country, we, there is many wonderful, wonderful things, but one thing that's very dangerous is the pollution of purism and perfectionism like we're so like it's so hammered into our hearts.
And so you have to independent, you have to be strong, you have to be, you know, work hard, get it done. That we, we are afraid of having strong friendships where we show ourselves vulnerable. You know, I married tough Joe and that, you know what, joking 20% would be tough, Joe. And you know, I'm certainly not TA Maria.
Like I break down 20,000 times a day and it's important to be vulnerable with each other. And. You know, and Joe reads me so well like this, you know, this afternoon, he's like, you know, thought what's in your heart. I'm just like, and there was nothing in my heart. I was just like, at least exhausted, exhausted.
I'm just like, it's empty. I can't even think. And I know that's like a man thing to say, but I'm like, I really nothing bugs. Like I just can't even think. Right. So that's okay. We'll let you feel that way sometimes. Yeah. but I think it's like so important to also develop strong friendships with other couples that can help you.
Um, that also have, you know, it's, it's great to do a positive and to reach out to people like the pop says and the hemisphere, but it's also really, or even more importantly, to surround yourself with good, strong, like marriages that you do have that confidence of going out for a walk or whatever, and say, you know what, I'm struggling with this.
Can you please pray for us? And. I don't know how to, and they're going to be able to help you and thinking of my mom and dad, for example, they, um, a friend couple came up to them and their husband, um, and well, their husband and wife both came to them and through a personal friendship of him. And that's why it saw poisonous to have for me guy friends, or for him like lady friends, because in the end, it's just gonna turn into something you don't want.
So it's just better to avoid it. I'm sorry. It's gonna sound really archaic, but that's how things are. Um, and so that's what happened to this couple. They, he started development this friendship with this woman, instead of sharing things with her, you know, thinking it's, I mean, it's, it's for innocent and your stories or feelings.
He had this, that, and it turned to something more than what he intended to. And so this couple went to my mom and dad and they couldn't confided in them and they weren't afraid of showing their vulner vulnerability and to say, you know, we're struggling and we're really. The brink of divorce and, you know, can you please help us?
And so they met for like six months. I mean, EV like almost every day, my mom and dad like, was a big sacrifice for them obviously, but they believe it emerged so much. And I think it's really important that we do have those strong friendships. You don't have to have like 5,000 Facebook friends or even 5,000, like girlfriends.
If you have one or two, like really great friends that you can be yourself, that you can have a good cry, a good laugh that you can just be ridiculous. And it's fine. That's great. You're so blessed that that capital is going to help you say strong in your marriage and, and amen. And, and I'll just add going back to the same, sorry thing, listen for men.
I think a lot of times, you know, what gets in the way is pride, original sin, right? Where we, you know, we just want to be right. Or we want to, you know, just hang strong with what we thought. And then if we take a deep breath or take a walk or a chill pill, whatever it might be, we realize, you know what, I probably was a little bit too harsh or too strong.
Maybe I really was. Right. But the manner in which I dealt with it was not appropriate or frankly kind or charitable. Um, and in that case, absolutely. I'm sorry, you know, forgive me, honey. And why is that important? Number one, it brings greater love between each of you. Uh, there's something very humble about that.
And there's actually something, you know, that happens in reverse of pride and that's, you know, real power, real strength, and you, you gain something that you didn't have before. When you're trying to err, you know, tough guy, you know, uh, that doesn't build, that's not a building, uh, um, you know, that's not a foundation.
Okay. So anyway, not only does the love grow, but, but also the strength and, and the power of that relationship grows, but then you're also, uh, showing something to your kids. I mean, I can't tell you, we have a five year old sleeping upstairs and you know, it's such a beautiful thing to hear her say, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. Like she'll, she's just, she just so openly just says, she's sorry. And I know that if she didn't see that from her siblings or from her mom and dad, she wouldn't have that spirit of recognizing that, you know, I shouldn't have done that, or I shouldn't have done this, or I shouldn't have been so rough here.
So that's really a special thing. Uh, and if we don't lead with, with those apologies, then our kids, aren't going to either. Peter creeps. Uh, he's at philosopher at Boston college. You probably know of, he, uh, he says that we need to have, uh, a hard head and a soft heart. And he said, and he says, what, what happens?
And what, what we have today is the opposite. We have hard hearts and soft heads. So I love that it's so important too, for kids to see modeled again for them, what it looks like to resolve bad situations, to resolve conflict. For so many of us who come from broken homes, what we experienced was a fight, a disagreement that maybe got loud and, you know, perhaps even escalated more than that.
And then usually one spouse or both would just go their separate ways and we never saw the resolution. So one thing, one of my professors said is, so I. For you to show your kids, the, the resolution, the, the ending, how, how you, you know, made up at the end of it, even if there was some sort of disagreement.
So, so I love that. And going back to Maria, what you said about American culture, you know, there's a lot of beautiful and good things about American culture, but there are some bad things. And, uh, one thing that I've experienced you as you guys know, my grandparents came over to the United States from Italy on my dad's side, and I've had the opportunity been blessed to be able to go back to Italy and spend time there and I've develop friendships and, you know, know families over there and people.
And, uh, I love their culture on so many levels, especially the parts that haven't been Americanized. Uh, and it, I, I honestly, the happiest I've ever been, I think, is over there where I'm not worried about being productive. I'm not worried about being perfect. I'm not worried about getting things done and moving at a million miles an hour.
It's just, I'm enjoying life. And then I'm living life barely to the fullest. And so it's beautiful. It's beautiful. And, you know, I know. Europe has changed a lot, you know, over the, the years. But, uh, but I think that the beauty of that culture of just spending time with each other, just enjoying life is something that in many places we we've lost, which is sad.
Can I go back? I totally agree. And I think that's so important that, you know, you don't have a, you don't have a resolution or like, um, okay, let's go sit down for 20 minutes and let's come up with like family mission. No, I mean, just, just be together and, you know, play board games, just come up with, you know, fun things to do together.
Uh, but one thing I wanted to say also, you know, and it was, I thought it was a nice compliment from the kids. You know, I was asked to be a part of a marriage seminar the other week and they, you know, one of the, it was 40 young men that were at this seminar and, you know, somebody talk, you know, somebody asked like, well, what is it worth fighting over.
And I say, well, honestly, there's not a list. Like you can fight over this and not over that. I think like, whatever hurts you, you should bring, bring up just because it's like a wound that is like, you know, gets infected and it just gets bigger and bigger and bigger. And then it's like, you have like, loves worse for, and it's like, I can't believe there's hours.
And it's just like, oh my gosh, what just happened? you really it's left hours. Yeah. It's hours. But it's like, there's this like, you know, like the underlying, like 35 things that have been frustrating there for like three months. And so I think it's, you know, and it's not like, well, you left at toothpaste cap open.
I mean, you know what, I'm sorry. Tough enough. A little bit. Don't let that stuff bother you because it's so tiny. I mean, just screw it back on it's okay. But what honestly, like hurts you, like, just bring it up. Don't be afraid of like, you know, and then more importantly. If you do have children, it's really important that you do not fight in front of the kids if possible.
And it was really, you know, when I was sharing with the kids a little bit about this spare seminar, our oldest asked, asked me, she's like, you know, have you and daddy ever like been in this agreement? And my eyes popped out my sock. I'm like, ah, yeah. but it was just a beautiful, like, you know, San Maria, who is a saying that we love a lot.
He would, he would, that was one of his advice that, you know, if you can, you know, try to, to not fight in front of the kids, then, you know, sometimes it's inevitable that something will happen in front of the kids, but just somebody like whoever has a coolest has, can just say, let's talk about it later. Not in front of the kids or, you know, and just, or, you know, hold the other person's hand, like a little bit stronger, like, okay.
Not, not right now. And I think it really helps because number one, you're, you're cooler headed. You have a, you know, like, you know, where you want to get. I mean, you know, you know, and you get, can get, get the whole story. Um, and it's good for the kids. I mean, I think like so many times, like you're saying they might see the scary part and it's always, the kids never have the full story.
And so ignorance just breeds a lot of fear. And so the kids might only know a little bit of the story or, or, you know, not see the, the resolution and that just brings anxiety and, and just, you know, they just project. And so I think it's really important to try to foster that. Self-control if, if I, you know, if I can use a word in your relationship, like.
Such a great conversation, a few takeaways, one it's possible guys love and marriage can last. They can be beautiful. They can be happy. It doesn't mean you're not gonna suffer. It doesn't mean there's not gonna be sacrifices and problems that come up over the years. But Joe and Maria really prove that love can be beautiful.
Love can last over the years. And, and in this interview too, some of the things that I've noticed from them, they're so respectful and they even have this sort of Revere. For each other. They're obviously humble people. You heard that throughout the interview of them talking about areas where they can improve or things they did wrong.
And if it wasn't clear, they're just so joyful. They're such happy people. And like I mentioned, at the start of the show, a lot of that comes from their faith. They would say their relationship with God, but it's not all smiles, right. They've suffered, especially in losing their child, which we'll talk about more in part two, but they they've really suffered well, I, I watched them suffer well and handled that well and even get closer to each other through it all, even though it was difficult.
So there's just a lot that we can learn from them. And those were some of my takeaways. And my question to you is what resonated with you the most from this? I. I encourage you to talk to someone about those things, especially your significant other, and if you don't have anyone to discuss it with, that's fine.
Maybe just write a little bit about your takeaways. Take 10 or 15 minutes before you go to bed tonight or tomorrow to just write about the things that really stuck out to you. Like I mentioned, at the beginning, we're doing it in a virtual event with the culture project called the restore culture, virtual workshops.
It's a free event. It's September 25th through 27th. And if you're like me, you're kind of tired of all these virtual conferences. I totally get it, but this one's good. It's different. Not gonna wanna miss out on it. They're doing a hundred plus mini workshops. Ted style talks, especially for parents, for educators, pastors, mentors, but also for single people, married people, anyone who's really looking for community and answers on tough topics like dating marriage, divorce, parenting.
College sex, pornography, healing, social issues, bunch of different topics. And there's 70 plus speakers. Some who are really well known like Christopher West, Jason Everett. Who's been on the show. Chris Salina, Everett, Sarah Swafford. Who's been on the show, Dr. Julia Sadusky, who's been on the show. And a lot of the talks are actually in Spanish too, which is awesome.
I'm giving two talks. One talk is called what I wish someone told me when my parents divorce. I just talk about how divorce affects those of us who do come from broken homes based on the research, and then get into some practical tips for healing. Uh, the other talk is 10 tips to help someone whose parents are separated or divorce.
And I just explain how to help someone who comes from a broken home, especially if they're going through the divorce right now. And that's especially useful advice for anyone who loves or leads. People like us again, it's free. So if you wanna sign up, you can click on the link in the show notes and your podcast app, or you can go to restored ministry.com/two seven.
Again, that's restored ministry. Ministry is just singular.com/ 27. You can click on the link there for the restore culture, virtual workshops and full disclaimer. The event is free the weekend of September 25th or 27th. But after that weekend, if you want access to the talks, you can actually purchase their premium pass again, totally optional.
But if you do restore does get a commission from that purchase at no additional cost to you. So just wanna be completely transparent with you guys on that. Again, that's optional that premium pass. You can just sign up for free and watch those talks over the weekend. So go ahead and sign up. Love to see you.
again, this episode was part one of two with Joe and Maria Keller. Don't miss the next episode, which is part two. There's a lot more practical wisdom in that episode as well. The resources mentioned during the show notes ever stored ministry.com/two seven. Thank you so much for listening. If this has been useful, go ahead and subscribe and share this podcast with someone you know, who could use it.
Always. Remember you are not alone. We're here to help you feel whole again and become the person that you were born to be.
