#026: Viral Facebook Post: What if We Spoke Well of Marriage? | Sarah Jarrard
“What if we spoke well of marriage for the next generation?”
One day, Sarah got really discouraged and frustrated. Why? Because of people saying bad things about their spouses and bashing marriage itself. So she wrote her thoughts and feelings on a Facebook post. She was surprised even 20 people shared it.
But before she knew it, it went viral. In no time, it had over 40,000 shares.
She was blown away. Soon, the post reached over 80,000 shares, more than 30,000 likes, and over 7,000 comments. Obviously, it struck a chord.
In this episode, you’ll hear Sarah and Joey discuss the viral post, why there’s so much negativity around marriage, and what we can do instead - despite the overwhelming popularity of divorce. Sarah also responds to those of us who say, “with so many marriages ending in divorce, it simply isn’t worth the effort.”
Sarah’s Viral Facebook Post
The numbers shown below may not be accurate. Click below to see the post on Facebook.
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The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: The 25 Year Landmark Study
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US Census Bureau: Number, Timing, and Duration of Marriages and Divorces: 2009. Household Economic Studies
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TRANSCRIPT
Transcript produced by artificial intelligence. Please pardon any errors!
What if we spoke well of marriage for the next generat? My guest today wrote that line actually in a, a Facebook post that went viral one day, Sarah got pretty frustrated and discouraged by people talking bad about their spouses and really bashing marriage itself. And so she wrote her thoughts and her feelings on a Facebook post.
And she was surprised that even 20 people shared that post, but before she knew it, the post actually went. In no time at all, it had 40,000 shares. She was blown away soon. The post actually doubled and it reached 80,000 shares, more than 30,000 likes. And over 7,000 comments, obviously it, it struck a chord with a lot of people.
And so in this episode, I'm interviewing Sarah and you're gonna hear her actually read the post that she wrote in case you hadn't seen it. Save you guys a little bit of time, and then we're gonna dive in and talk about some of the points she made in the post and give her a chance to elaborate on them.
We talk about why she wrote it in the first, but she'll, she'll elaborate on that. Ask her the question. Why do you think there's so much negativity toward marriage today? And she even admits that there are a ton of broken marriages and horrible relationships. She knows this from personal experience, but she really challenges everyone to focus on and run after what marriage could be.
And should be. We even discussed her parents' role in helping her believe that love and marriage can last. It's really beautiful because if you've been listening to the show, you know, that we're often talking about divorce and how our parents' marriage and the mistakes that happen there really form us and affect us.
And so it's really refreshing to hear someone from the other side say that their parents' marriage really bless them in so many ways. Sarah even responds to what some people say that marriage isn't even worth the effort because so many marriages just end in divorce, which I totally uh, understand that fear.
We ask the question. If there are good marriages out there, where are they? Why don't we hear about them more? And Sarah share some words of encouragement to those of you out there who are afraid of love, afraid of marriage because of the broken marriages that you've seen either in your own home, uh, or elsewhere.
And so lots of good stuff ahead.
Welcome to the ReSTOR podcast, helping you cope, heal, and grow from the trauma of your parents' divorce or separation. So you can feel whole again. I'm your host, Joey Pelli. Thank you so much for listening. This is episode 26 and we're in the middle of our love and relationship series. Research shows that the biggest effects from our parents' divorce or separation are actually experienced in a romantic relationships.
Why is that? Basically because we don't have a roadmap for love. We've seen a broken model of love and marriage. And so when it's our turn, we feel lost and we struggle in numerous ways. In our relationships. And so we're bringing you a roadmap, actionable tips and expert advice on how to find and build authentic love.
My guess today is Sarah Gerard, Sarah and her husband, Caleb have been married for two years, and much of the relationship has actually been spent long distance since Caleb is in the military. So any military spouses out there who are listening, Sarah totally gets you. Sarah's a paramedic in the state of Georgia, where she also earned a paramedicine to you.
Soon learn. She's extremely passionate about the topics of marriage. Building love that lasts and fighting the negativity surrounding marriage in our world. And before we get into the conversation with Sarah, I want you guys to hear the Facebook post that she wrote in her own words. So here's Sarah reading it for us.
A normalized thing. Enjoy the honeymoon phase while it lasts. Oh, Jess, you wait. Oh, that'll change. Or it won't be like that for long or come talk to me in a, after a few more years. Or how cute you still like your husband? It's all a trap. It'll never last. What if instead we spoke well of marriage for the next generation.
What if instead of consistently talking about marriage as if it's supposed to be miserable, we talked of what it should be and what it can be. What if, instead of filling the minds of younger people or unmarried people with the idea that you'll grow to hate your spouse, you told them of the wonderful potential joys of marriage.
What if, instead of ridiculing, how newly married people feel about their spouse? You encouraged them. I've been married almost two years. That's not long at all in the grand scheme of things. No, my marriage is not perfect. Not even close, no, I'm not naive to the fact that things can easily get hard. I'm not lying to the failing marriages I've seen for stands.
No, I will never be able to foresee every bad thing that could happen in a marriage. To be honest, even with the amazing example of marriage, my parents gave me, I still heard what everyone else was saying. And I believed them. It's rare that I encounter someone older than me who does not respond to my positive words about my marriage with negativity.
Honestly, I've brought, been brought down by these words. I've been angry and frustrated. I've even found myself bracing for hardships in my marriage instead of actively loving it is amazing. What a positive example can do in the middle of a fallen world. It's amazing what effect a positive word can have on a young person, single or not.
Don't settle for mediocrity in a marriage. Find that person that is willing to fight what is normal in today's society. Find that person that will fight me, mediocrity with you. Look to Christ. Otherwise all of this is in vain. You cannot have a fruitful life or marriage without him. Marriage should be honored by all Hebrews 13, four, and clinging to what is good.
Romans 12, nine. and after she wrote that, and once it started going viral, she actually added a little bit of a portion to the post. And I just wanna read it for you right now. She said, I woke up this morning, quite honestly, stunned at the 47,000 shares on the post. I'm extremely thankful for the thousands of comments.
Not because it brings more light on me, but because those comments are testimonies of many beautiful marriages and relationships. Now let's take our comments off Facebook. Into the world, take those testimonies of your beautiful relationships and use them to speak encouragement to those coming after us.
Be bold enough to take a stand for your marriage. I have a lot to say on that subject, but I'll try to keep my Facebook running to minimum. So I'm really glad that Sarah joins us today because we're gonna give her a chance to, to elaborate on what she said in that post that struck a chord with so many people, again, over 80,000 people shared it, but that doesn't even account for the people that saw it and read it.
And as you could tell from the post, Sarah is a Christian. So you're gonna hear her talk about her beliefs about God and about faith. And as I always say, when guests come on the show and they share about, uh, their religion, they share about their deepest held beliefs. If you don't share those beliefs, you're totally so welcome here.
And even if you take those out of the episode, you're still gonna gain a lot from listening. And so if you can keep an open mind. Definitely keep listening to this episode. And I just wanted to say that we had some audio issues in this interview. And so I'm really sorry about that. Even with our, uh, nice equipment and the processes that we use to make sure the audio is topnotch.
We just still had some issues with this episode. So I'm really sorry about that. I appreciate your patience. We really strive to not only produce good content, but to make sure that the production quality is really good as well. And so again, thank you for your patience and I apologize for that. So here's my conversation with Sarah Gerard, Sarah, it's a pleasure to have you on the show.
Thanks so much for being here. Yeah. Thanks so much for having me. I loved your post. Someone in ReSTORs online community. We have a private Facebook group, shared it in there and I read through it and I immediately thought, man, we need more of this in the world first off, but then also I wanted to, to get you on the podcast.
Really grateful your hair. And I'm just curious when you wrote it, did you have any idea that it would go viral? Like it did? Um, never, uh ever in a million years, I've never had anything. I write get, uh, much attention, much less, anything close to going viral. So it was a very big surprise to me. yeah. Tell, tell us about that.
Uh, it, you, you wrote it what, in, on an afternoon and then was it the next day that it went viral and tell us about that? Well, I think it's, I think it started getting, going viral the next day, but I didn't really pay too much attention. So I actually went back and forth about sharing it at all. A lot of times I feel like sharing something like that on social media is just like this drop in the ocean of opinions, you know?
And I, I've just not been a fan of that. I originally posted on Instagram and my mom. Asked me to share it on Facebook so she could share it. And I did a little later got like 20 or so shares and I was surprised, you know, just by the 20. And then the second or third day, I think I was like 47,000 or something like that.
Um, wow. And that's whenever I was kind of being flooded with like messages and comments and, um, it was, it was really crazy. I, I just, I never expected that. I mean, I don't really know what it's up to. I think it was like in the eighties, but I, yeah, it was very surprising to me. yeah, I'm looking at right now.
Actually I have it on my screen. Okay. 86,000 shares and there's over 7,000 comment. Oh, my goodness. great. So cool. But, um, aside from the, you know, novel too, but going viral, what, uh, what made you write this post in the first place? Yeah. Um, so I, this is something I've often thought about and I've probably ranted about multiple times to my husband or my mom or whoever else.
Um, yeah, that's close to me, but, uh, it was, it was after a day of leaving a conversation where I just felt really discouraged. I took to writing which I, which I do a lot. And I wrote a, you know, a few examples and comments or statements like I read of the Facebook post that's. I wrote that down and those are comments that I often get when I speak my thoughts on marriage, in a conversation, or if I'm simply just talking about my own marriage.
And I really feel like a lot of times I'm just, I'm being spoken down to like, almost like, you know, just, almost being made fun of in a way those are comments in response to me saying, even something like. Um, I support my husband and his decisions in the future. Like, what's he what he wants to do and whatnot.
And someone will say, oh, you say that now, but just wait, like just wait. You know, people will say, oh, you know how high the divorce rate is for people in the military. Right. And, uh, my husband's in the military. And so that's something I get a lot. So I had to say it's it's it was a conversation. Right. Uh, similar to that.
And after that, I just, I was so beaten down and that's what baby write it. yeah. I mean, I think marriage can be hard enough without the negativity. Mm-hmm . And so with the negativity, man, it's just made so much harder. Why, why do you think there is so much negativity toward marriage today? Um, I think that it could be for a couple reasons.
First of all, I mean, divorce is so common. And also because of the fallout from divorce, I mean, my parents aren't divorced and I still had so many doubts before I started dating my husband because I mean, a fallout from divorce reaches. I mean, I'm sure you've talked about this multiple times, but it, it reaches far more people than I think anyone really realizes when they do get a divorce.
I mean, it affects the children in the divorce, but what about the people who are getting divorced? What about their parents? What about their nieces and nephews and close friends? I mean, those relational ties that are cut, like it could be, it could be detrimental. It could be, you know, so hard. Yeah, no I've had people tell me, you know, their aunt or their uncle.
Got divorced and it really affected them. And so you're right. We, you know, typically focus on the, the children or the parents, but, uh, but you're right. It does, it has a huge effect. And I don't have the statistic before me right now, but I know that if someone that you're close to gets divorced, it's way more likely that you'll get divorced.
There's almost this contagious effect of divorce. And it doesn't mean you're, you know, destined to do that. If someone, you know, or are close with gets divorced, but, um, but it is pretty fascinating that it has this contagious effect. And so I agree. I think that's really at the source of why there's so much negativity, uh, toward Mary.
Were there any other reasons that, uh, that you can think of? I think part of it is. You know, when people start, you know, something happens in their marriage and then maybe they build up some bitterness and then they just, you know, talk about it with, you know, this person or this person, or I think that it can, it negativity, spreads like wildfire
Yeah. Um, and I think that people sometimes will just even like, kind of build off of each other and don't even realize they're saying it. Um, it's become such a common thing in my experience anyways. Yeah, no, absolutely. I can agree more. I mean, I think social media is just the epitome of that, of the negativity that just goes around and Twitter, especially man, that's like lethal to go on there, but, um, I, to delete that I could , I can't do that anymore.
It's just like the pit of humanity, sorry to all you, Twitter users listening, but, um, it's yeah, there, there is so much negativity. I remember one of, uh, one, couple that I know who just have a beautiful marriage. I admire them so much. I want my marriage to be like theirs. The wife, uh, was in this woman's group and, uh, they were talking about their husbands and the, one of the leaders in the group was saying, okay, let's go around.
And let's say something that annoys us about our husbands. And, uh, I'm not sure what the purpose for it was. I think it was some sort of a venting session. But, um, when it got to this woman, she just refused. She's like, no, I, this is not the right place to bring my frustrations, my problems with my husband.
You know, maybe I'll bring that to a mentor, but, but not in this group. And so she just refused, she stood up for her husband in that, which I think is beautiful. And I, I do think is a place for talking about problems in marriage, but always in a constructive way to try to solve them. Number two. Yes. Just kind of brute on it.
And I agree with you that there's almost like this false sense of friendship and bonding that comes through talking about negative things in life. Yeah. And, and I mean, I saw that you kind of see that all through life, whatever, you know, if someone's kind of venting to each other and it gets out of hand, like it just leads to more bitterness and negativity and it ends.
Kind of just tearing down. I, like you said, I do think that there's a place for that, for sure. I think that that's needed in, in certain avenues, but everyday conversations, you know, with your coworker where you're sitting around the table and just kind of saying what bugs you about your spouse and doing it all the time on a regular basis.
I mean, I just, I it's, I think it's become so common. Um, no one even bats an eye. I think it, it blows my mind. I am kind of out of the ordinary when I say something nice or about my spouse, or don't say something bad about him. yeah, if that makes sense. No, absolutely. There there's um, one business writer I follow, he said that the greatest way to kind of, uh, protect your marriage against an affair or anything like that, it's just to speak well of your spouse in the workplace.
And that even that alone is incredibly powerful and. On the, the gossip front. Yeah. Gossip is so toxic. I remember, uh, hearing another guy that I follow another leader. I follow saying that gossip is sharing anything with someone who can't do anything about it, essentially. So any, any sort of negativity was another person who can't help you solve it, uh, in a constructive way.
And for me, that, that hit me hard because I know it's so easy to, to gossip and just kind of talk about negative things about other people, uh, with someone who really has no effect on the situation. Right. Right. And, and I think oftentimes too, like if you think about it, have you talked to your spouse about that?
Have you, you know, Like, have you talked about it with them to try to figure things out before you're going around? You know what I mean? Um, yeah. Have you even talked to them about it and to try to resolve whatever issue or whatever's bothering you? I mean, even a pet peeve, like I just, I think that, that, yeah, there's definitely time and place.
Absolutely. I agree. Yeah, there really should be one of the first stops, if not the first stop to, to go to your spouse. So good. Uh, you touched on this already, but I'm just curious on a personal level. Uh, how has all that negativity affected you? Um, like I said earlier, um, the conversations leaving, leave me, questioning myself and my relationship and just leave me overall discouraged.
Uh, I have to. To remind myself what's true in my life and what's true in my marriage. And I do, I do think that a lot of times people kind of treat me okay. You're you're younger. You have no idea what the world could hold. And I think the best word would to use would be condescending. I, I feel like mm-hmm,
It could be condescending um, when I do have a PA positive outlook to share yeah. If that makes sense. No, that completely makes sense. And yeah. I'm sorry. That's been your experience. I, I certainly can relate on so many levels and yeah, it's, it's such a breath of fresh air to read a post like yours and to hear people speak well of their spouse to speak well of marriage, because it is like you said, a, a rare thing, uh, to, to anyone listening or anyone who's read the pose, who's kind of a skeptic and they maybe say, Sarah, you're just naive.
You're naive to believe that love can last. What's your response to them. I, I know your, your whole post is basically the response, but given you a chance to kind of speak into that a little bit more, what, what would you say, honestly, whenever it's, you know, a group of people talking and they kind of are snowballing on each other's negativity in a way it's honestly something that still stumps me on what to say, just back to them.
Mm-hmm , um, I'm, I'm working on how I want to this on deciding how I wanted to respond actually. Um, because I really, I really do wanna give respect to the people who have a lot more experience than me in any part of life. You know, marriage included while at the same time, standing up for my marriage and for what I believe in and what marriage can be.
And that's, that's a re part of the reason I have such a hard time responding to it because when I do respond, it usually ends. Being along the lines too. I'm sorry. You feel that way, but this is how I feel. That's, that's usually what I say. Mm-hmm um, to, to which many people responded away again, condescending, you know, it's so cute that you think that, that sort of thing mm-hmm, but so far I'm like, well that, you know, if that's how you feel, that's, that's fine.
But. I mean, but this is how I feel. And you can't tell me how to feel about my own marriage. yeah. So, but yeah, it's, it's still something that I'm working on deciding how I do wanna respond. And I think it also depends on that situation too, but yeah, no, that makes so much sense. And I wonder even going back to what we were saying before, if saying something like, you know, well, what have you tried to, to solve that problem or something more positive to say, Hey, you know, do you have a counselor or is there some mentor mm-hmm , you know, I don't know if that that's definitely not always the right response, uh, in every situation, but, uh, yeah, that, that just came to mind when you were saying that.
Right. Right. And, and I, that has been a response that I've given once or twice where it's like the situation, you know, it's more like a one on one type of thing, but yeah, if in a group it's kind of hard. Oh, absolutely. But, but one on one. Yeah. That's definitely something I, I like to suggest anyways. No, that's really good.
Yeah. That's when you're in a group, it's almost impossible to, to do things like that. But one thing people might be thinking right now listening is that we maybe making light of marriages that are really bad and suffering. And, uh, and I just wanna clarify to everyone, and I know, sir, you would agree with this.
We're we're not, we're not oblivious to the fact that there's some really bad marriages, just some really difficult situations that people are in. We we're focused on what marriage could be and should be. And we need more of that. Don't we mm-hmm yes, definitely. but yeah, I, I wanted to, I kind of wanted to say that too.
It, it's not trying to make light of any. Struggles or hardships or, I mean, it's, that's very real, there's very real hardships and marriage. And in, I mean, I, like I said, I'm kind of newly married. I'm it's two years tomorrow, so oh, wow. I, uh, so I I'm, I'm new to this still, but I do hold onto belief that it could be more than what the world kind of continually tells us.
Absolutely. Well happy anniversary to you and your husband. Yeah. Thank you. So instead of spreading the lie that love won't last, what do you wish people would do? What do you wish people would say? Well, there's, there's few things that I wish people. Would do or wouldn't do, um, very simply, but stop saying negative things about marriage period.
I think like, I think we were saying earlier, I think there's many outlets to seek help in a struggling marriage, but making discouraging remarks to others is not one of those places. Another thing I would say is encourage newlyweds. I think this mostly goes more mostly towards the couples that have been married like 10, 20, 30 to 50 years.
But I know from my own experience, that is an encouragement. And I just, I mean, it makes me so happy too to hear from those people. And usually when I do meet someone that say that they've been married for like 30, 50 years, like that's, I'm, I'm usually saying, okay, what can you tell me? Like yeah. What wisdom can you give me?
Cuz I would like to know but I think another thing I, I wish that people would do is realize. the beauty of marriage that's portrayed in scripture. I think that many people here, you mentioned God and marriage, and I think it's either like flavorless or not as exciting, or maybe think that God has nothing to do with marriage.
Mm-hmm , um, me personally, um, it's my belief that God has everything to do with marriage. And if you believe in the scripture, this, you see this in Ephesians five, where it's written, um, husbands love your wives. As Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. And marriage is actually a depiction of Christ love for his people.
And it's quite beautiful. It's a picture of the gospel and that passage and Ephesians five talks about, um, the husband loving nourishing and cherishing his wife just as Christ says for us. And also, I mean, pointing out the fact that the Bible has a whole book on romance song of Solomon is a beautiful book of.
Two people in love, share it two and about one another. And, uh, one verse that I find extremely beautiful is song of Solomon eight, six, and seven sent me as a seal upon your heart. As a seal upon your arm for love is strong. As death. Jealousy is fierce and as the grave it's flashes are flashes of fire at the very flame of the Lord.
Many waters cannot quench love. Neither can fudge drown it. If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, he would be utterly despised. And I mean that entire book speaks of captivation and love and enjoying your spouse on every level. And I think that in a, in a lot of ways, People kind of just push that aside and say, okay, well I really don't want God or the Bible interfering on, you know, on my marriage, but, and that's, that's my take on it.
yeah, no, that's beautiful. I've heard it said that really all of scripture is just this whole love letter, uh, from God to us. And we are really in many ways like the spouse, you know, receiving his love and, uh, yeah, you're right. God really does have a lot to say when it comes to marriage and that, uh, that verse in Ephesians, some people have issue with, because it talks about the wife being, you know, submissive to the husband.
But, um, but like you pointed out it, you know, the word submissive or submission is literally means being under the mission of mm-hmm and in this case, like you explained, well, the mission of the husband is to lay down his life. Like Jesus laid down his life for all of us. Mm-hmm right. And that is a tall order and that's a beautiful thing.
And that's something I think, you know, if, if a husband were to love like that, what wife wouldn't want to get behind that. Right. It's it's not about putting down, you know, a woman it's not about degrading femininity anyway. It's really about building something so beautiful together. Yeah. And it's just, you know, specific in the way that he's cherishing and loving and nourishing her.
And she's like you said, almost like a building up and coming alongside of and building up him for, for that mission. if that makes sense. Absolutely. Absolutely. And when I asked my wife to, to marry me, uh, I, I used very specific words. I, I asked her, um, I don't remember everything. I said, cuz it was an intense moment, but um, I said something along the lines of like, will you be my life's companion?
and, and I love that phrase. Life's companion because we are, we, we walk through life side by side, you know, taking on the challenges that we could never see when we got engaged. We could never see when we got married that, well, we can't see right now, we're actually two and a half, uh, years in the marriage, so right there with you.
So, uh, so yeah, I'm a baby husband. We we're newly weeds in many ways, so that's awesome. Yeah. I love that thought of just like adventuring through life together and supporting each other, even when things get really, really hard. Yeah. Yeah. I always love to. Talking with people who've had successful marriages.
And, uh, when we go to weddings, I love the, the wedding dance, you know, where they get all the anniversary dance, where they get all the couples out there. Oh. And someone's out there for like six years, seven, many years. Like, I love that. How are you still dancing? yeah. Great. Yes. I love that. And, uh, another thing you said, I just wanna make sure we touch on this newly Wes.
Like we really have to help them. I know in so many places, people receive almost no marriage preparation or if they do it's brief when it's like, you know, right before the wedding. And it's really such a disservice because there's so much that we can offer. And from both a faith perspective, as well as just like a human, uh, perspective on, on how to build love that lasts.
Right. And, uh, I was reading some of the us census data from, uh, 2010, you know, most people probably aren't into that sort of thing, but I was, I was digging through some of the data and I was like, this is super interesting. They were talking about marriage. And they said the, the typical marriage that ends in divorce lasts about eight years.
And the couple will typically separate, uh, after seven years. So it's like a year separation then the divorce. And so the first thing that came to my mind is like, why aren't we pouring into these couples, especially before, but during and leading up to that time, hopefully forever. Yeah. But, um, but especially during that time, I mean, we literally have data that says, okay, this is when couples are most vulnerable.
Why aren't we doing more to help them? So I love that you brought that up and I think we can do a lot more. I agree. And there are a lot of good, uh, ministries and organizations that are trying to help couples who, who are struggling or just want a great marriage to begin with. Yeah. And, and I think that, I think that's great to do that before the marriage and kind of set that foundation like while you're engaged and everything, and even have whoever that may be, that's kind of helping you walk through that process before, um, marriage, um, whether it's like mentor, mentor, or, um, counselor or biblical counseling or whatever it may be.
Um, premarital counseling, I know is I'm I'm in favor but sometimes I know that those people will say. Okay. I'd like y'all to come back in six months or maybe even a few years. And I think that's great to kind of have a relationship with the people, those people, cuz they can see where you started and um, where you are in a few years even.
Um, but I think that's a great idea. If you have access to that. Absolutely. Yeah. We had a mentor couple when we were engaged and I wish we could have continued that when we got married, but they're just in such high demand right now that it's, it's hard to do. Mm-hmm but, um, but yeah, I couldn't agree more.
It's so good. We, my wife and I went to counseling. Everyone listening knows that we've, uh, talked about on the show, but, um, yeah, I remember saying in the counseling office and the counselor was kind of, kind of, uh, probing for problems, like big problems mm-hmm and, uh, when we kind of didn't have anything huge to talk about, uh, it was more like, Hey, we're having some conflict.
We wanna work on our communication. It was a little bit more preemptive and proactive mm-hmm um, yeah, his response was interesting. It was, he was a great counselor. I'm not putting him down by any means, but, uh, it was kind of like, well, I'm not seeing anything huge to work on and we're like, but, but we're trying to build like a really good foundation in a, in a great marriage.
And so it's sad that we kind of have this approach that unless there's problems that come up. Well, you know, we're not gonna focus on that. It's, you know, if we took that approach to our health or our vehicles, our cars would break down and our, we would be going, you know, getting a triple bypass surgery.
Yeah. exactly. That's a great way to put it. Yeah. Let's talk a little bit more about marriage. What's been your experience of marriage as much as you're comfortable sharing, uh, the good and the bad. Well, , um, I could talk about this all day. People that people that know me know, I could talk about my husband all day long it's it's, uh, probably annoying
Um, but as far as, as far as my own marriage, it's been one that I, I kind of consistently describe as this is gonna sound weird, but I describe it as an, an Oasis. I feel like completely and totally safe. I feel, um, so, so confident that I can trust him and truly seen and respected by him. I say that in reference the importance of that, not because I have been in a relationship that was probably the complete opposite and.
Whenever we started, me and my husband started dating. It was just a light bulb came on and it was, so it was just so important. Um, to me, I, I had a, I had been interested in my husband for a few years before he started dating. And I always, I always felt like he was a safe place, even when we weren't that good, a friends.
So, you know, it's not, it's not just like this physical thing. It's emotional, just this, this total trust that you don't get with. Um, just anyone. Um, so once we got married that has only deepened. I mean, we laugh, we poke fun of at each other and , um, and something that we're working on is okay. We wanna serve each other before we serve ourselves.
And that is. Something that's also deepened deepened our marriage. And as, as far as, um, bad, it's, , it's hard for me to say, uh, the bad that really came along with marriage. I'm not there right now. , that's beautiful. But, uh, I, like I said, I, that's not, not to say that I'm not unaware of what can happen of hard parts that can come my way, our way, but, and, and there were definitely a learning curves for us.
Most of our relationship. Has been long distance due to him being in the military. And yeah, soon after we started dating, we were long distance. And I think that while it had to be the hardest time in our relationship, it's, it's what made us so much stronger. And I was telling someone recently that this year we've probably spent the most time that we've ever spent together and it's been great but awesome.
Um, we definitely communicate differently and appreciate each other in ways that. Some people don't always get to experience since we did have that long distance. Yeah. And I misspoke there when I said bad, I meant to say challenges and that's okay. That that's something that, uh, you know, my wife, Bridget and I she's been on the show and we've talked about challenges that we've had in marriage.
And so I, uh, you know, people might be thinking, wait, I thought you're talking about, don't be negative. I'm asking that what, what I meant to say is like challenges and we'll share, we'll share challenges that we've had, but it's always something that, you know, we've talked about and worked on together.
Mm-hmm and we're open to being vulnerable so that other people can perhaps learn or being encouraged by that. And so that's what I was getting at. Yeah. To, uh, to anyone who might be confused by that. Yeah. And, and that's, and yeah, that's definitely something we're, we're now more, a lot more open about. And I mean, we have friends that are, you know, couples in the military and it's really nice to be able to kind of be like, yes, we've been through this.
Like, let's talk about it. Like, and something that we can kind of relate to it then. Kind of help each other out with, and other people that may be in a long distance type of relationship, but yeah. Yeah. I figured it was more like a challenge than bad words. yeah. Yeah. But I chose the wrong word in my bad it's okay.
Let, let's go there for a second about military and long distance. What would you say? Uh, yeah. What are some good things to know for maybe someone who's listening who's engaged or newly we, or, you know, dating someone who's in the military or, you know, traveling a lot. Um, what are some things that you guys typically talk about with, with other couples who kind of are embarking on that journey as well?
Uh, well, as far as specifically to the military, I always say use a pencil whenever you were putting stuff in your calendar, cuz things change a lot. Um, but I think that that's important in all, you know, long distance or relationships like that to learn, to be understanding. With changes as they come. And that is something that took me a very, very long time yeah.
To get used to, because it is nothing like a relationship where you get to see them even once a week. Like, even if you go see, you know, someone on the weekend, like it's just very, it's very, very different. So learn how, you know, work together on a way that, how you're gonna adjust to those changes and how you're gonna communicate differently.
Because I mean, it's such a difference communicating in person than communicating solely online or over video chat or like on the phone or anything like that. We, we had a, uh, I think a 12 hour time difference, so, wow. Whenever he. Whenever he was getting up, I was going to sleep and vice versa. So , it was, uh, and we're, we're pretty upfront with people and we, we tell them, Hey, like don't expect it not to be hard because it will be mm-hmm
But I think something that is important is. Communicating that, and not trying to just hide that and be like, I must be the only one that feels this way. I must be the only one in this relationship. That's having a hard time. So like, I don't, I think that a lot of times, especially in military circles, I know that people kind of try to hold it in and don't tell people they don't wanna, you know, bother anyone and that kind of thing.
And they kind of take that into their relationship too. They're like, oh, well I don't wanna bother him. And there is a point, okay. Yeah. You wanna make sure you're still encouraging him and, you know, let him know you are okay. Or her, but you wanna also make sure you're being honest with how you're feeling.
And it took me a long time to understand that as well. Yeah. And we had to say, you know, actual practical changes in our communication cuz there's, you know, one of us may do better at communicating in person than far apart. yeah. So it's, it's just a, it's a totally different ballgame. You really just have to work together to learn to adjust, but.
You can do it. there you go. No, I, I definitely believe that. And like I mentioned before, we were recording my wife and I did a year of long distance dating. And so definitely that's different than when you're married or engaged doing long distance. But, um, yeah, it is hard, but it can't be done. And there's people I know who, you know, are really not good at texting.
They're not good at getting on the phone, so it can be a challenge. But yeah, I, I think, uh, just the simple fact, like one point you made is like, you can change. Like it's not, you're not like this, you know, stationary, fixed person. Like you can actually adapt and change. And so I think that's beautiful and taking that mindset to marriage in general, I think it's so important that you can improve.
Like you're not gonna be the same person that you are today. In fact, you don't really wanna be, you marriage really can be, uh, a tool to help you become the best version of yourself. And that's really one of the purposes of marriage, right. Is to become the, the best version of yourself. So that's beautiful.
Yeah. And I think that a lot of times people go into it and they're. Oh, well, I can't change anything. I'm like, well, it's actually about compromising a lot. So, so it's not, oh, well I don't like that. So I don't wanna change who I am so sorry. It's there is a lot more compromise involved than I think. People really realize, or even, um, prepare others for that yeah, absolutely.
And it could be as simple as, you know, put down the toilet team yeah. Or, or it can be as serious as like, Hey, I really need you to, uh, talk to me more about what you're thinking and feeling. And I know my wife and I went through that cuz you know, coming from a broken home myself. Yeah. There was a lot of fear when it came to love and marriage and just intimacy in general, especially trust issues.
And so I've really had to, to work on that and be more conscious of it cuz I. You know, kind of pull away from people and kinda like you were saying, that could happen in the military with, uh, with spouses. I just kind of kept things to myself. So just being proactive about that and focusing on, okay, I need to be opening my mouth and sharing.
Yeah. Um, and, and so that's been some changes that those are some changes that we made that have really helped. And the post, you mentioned your parents' marriage. And, uh, and I think that's just beautiful that, you know, you had them to look to as a role model. Um, and I'm just curious, like, what would you say their marriage played?
Like what role did it play in helping you believe that love can actually last a couple things? I, I have very early memories of, um, my parents sitting down with me and my sisters, um, most nights of the week to re, to read together, pray together and learn together. Um, and I remember learning about marriage and love from an extremely young age.
Sometimes people think, oh, they don't need to learn about that till later. But I mean, I was, I was little and learning about marriage and they taught me and the rest of my siblings scripture. And what is said about marriage. And aside from teaching, they, they showed us what can come from a nurturing relationship and, and the beauty of what putting your spouse before yourself can do, um, and I was, I was lucky enough to be encouraged by my parents and my relationship, um, with my husband.
They know what a beautiful thing marriage could be. And the same for my husband's parents. I mean, I can honestly say both my parents and my husband's parents have some of the most beautiful marriages that I've seen. And, and that's something we've been really, really blessed with. That's amazing. And, uh, yeah, to anyone listening, who maybe having a hard time with that, because you don't come from a home, uh, like that, or maybe your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't, uh, we totally get you and totally understand that.
But, uh, but to courage that you really can build a beautiful marriage, you can reverse that cycle of brokenness in your family tree. It is possible. I've seen it. Um, there's been people on this podcast who are doing it and have done it. And so, uh, and I hope bridge and I are somewhat of an example. It says all of you listening as well, because you're not doomed to repeat the mistakes that happen in your parents' marriage.
You really can write your own story. You can build, uh, a beautiful love, a beautiful marriage. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it. Yes, that's awesome. Yeah. And, and. Uh, that's part of the reason. I mean, I was hesitant to even share what I wrote in the first place, because sure. I didn't, I mean, I, I, a hundred percent have sympathy and empathy towards the people that people that struggle with that.
And even after listening to your podcast and stuff like that, I mean, It is definitely something that I completely realize I've been extremely blessed with. Um, and my husband as well. Yeah. And no, Sarah, it's so beautiful. And I'm so glad you shared the post to begin with, but also talk about your parents' marriage and your husband's parents' marriage, because that's what we need.
And that's really what we wanna do. That's. Kind of the whole mission of restored is we wanna reverse that cycle so that we can build strong marriages for our children, for our grandchildren. So they can look back and say exactly what you said. You know, I had this great example by my parents, by my grandparents, cuz there's man, there's enough brokenness in the world.
We really need to undo this. And I think that's the only way we're really gonna transform our culture into a culture where the human person just flourishes, like there's happiness, there's thriving. So, uh, no, thank you so much for talking about, we need more people saying that, those things. Yeah. That's awesome.
When it comes to, uh, advice on marriage, what what's some of the ad best advice that you've received and what else would you add from your experience? Uh, when it comes to building love, that lasts probably the best thing that I've heard. And I, and I probably referenced this earlier, but it isn't about you.
It, if you're in a relationship. Is about each of you quitting, the other person's needs before your own, it will transform you and your relationship. I mean, you'll find yourself in a serving, loving, fulfilled relationship. I believe. I mean, I, I quickly realized in my relationship with my husband, it's, it's similar to taking turns, not technically , but in a way it really is.
I mean, there, there are times when I'm gonna need more support and care and the same for him, we all go through, you know, difficult things in life. And if you have that relationship, that is not self-serving. I mean, it just, it makes a huge difference. Um, so it's not gonna always be 50, 50. I firmly believe that, but I think that if you have that mindset, okay, this actually isn't about me.
Like this is about. My spouse. This is about my husband. This is about my wife. How can I, how can I serve them? And I think that's probably the best. And a lot of times, like my human nature is like, oh, well, , I don't wanna accept that advice. I really don't like my human nature is okay. I want what's best for me.
How, how is that gonna help me? You know? And that's not to say you do something so that, you know, in a manipulative way, so that he'll give you something in return or anything, but I'm just, I think that that's something that is not said enough is it's not all about you. um, I think that's kind of, kind of a rare thing to hear, but it is, sounds likely that's pretty revolutionary.
I'm sorry. We might get kicked out Facebook for, I know but no, it's, it's so good. It's so true. And that just highlights the fact that you really need to be, you may need to look for a virtual person. Someone who has that capacity to be selfless, to sacrifice for you, who, you know, for you and all those really, really beautiful things that you mentioned.
And one thing I wanted to mention, I think a lot of people, when they hear, you know, serving your spouse, giving there's this fear that if I give, then I may just be left, empty, like I'm gonna give so much and then no, one's gonna give back to me. And that's certainly a possibility. And. especially in toxic relationships.
Mm-hmm, , you know, there's a codependency or something unhealthy like that. That can be the case, but it made me think of that book that I don't know if you've read the giving tree where, you know, essentially, uh, I, I, I don't remember the whole story. I was really young when I read it, but it's this story of, um, basically that the whole premise is that, that, you know, you give, give, give, and then at the end you can are empty, but in a really good, healthy, beautiful relationship, the more you give I've experienced, the more you receive.
And, and when, when you set that example and go outta your way to love your spouse, it actually makes them want to love you more. And that's what I've experienced in my own marriage. Like when I'm the most selfless. Maybe it's not right away, but I see Bridget like reciprocating that, and it's really, really beautiful.
So I, I think that fear that we may feel that well, if I, you know, just give, give, give, then I'm never gonna have anyone give to me. I think it's a false fear. I think really the more that you give the, the more you receive. And, and I definitely think that, I mean, I referenced earlier like a relationship that I had been in previously in a dating relationship.
And I, and I definitely think that there are toxic relationships in which there is all, you know, one, one it's, one sided. And I'm not saying that you should just be okay with that. yeah. By any means, um, or you're, you know, it's a hundred percent you and, um, I'm not, I'm not saying that at all. Um, yeah, but I think that whenever you are, whenever your marriage is, you know, flourishing.
Whenever, both of you are serving each other and maybe I should use a different word. Yeah. That's a good point. Like both of you are working to encourage, to build up, to love the other person, um, more than yourself, which I know is hard. , it's absolutely not popular either, but that's a does my take on it.
Yeah. And, and I think it's just a principal in life. Uh, I used to do retreats for high school kids, and I know there were always kids who would come on the retreats who really didn't wanna be there. And I kind of had a heart for them cuz I was in their shoes years ago. And so, uh, so I would tell them like, Hey, all of you, you know, who are are here, who don't want to be here.
I just wanna challenge you that like as much as you put into this retreat, that's as much as you'll get out of it. And like you said, that's not the purpose in a relationship where we, you know, just give in order to receive. But, um, but man, it, it does work that way and I've experienced that. And I know, uh, a lot of other married couples have, have as well.
I love this line from the post. You said I've even found myself bracing for hardships in my marriage instead of actively loving it's an excellent point. And it, it brought this to mind that there is this difference between being on the defense, right. Defensive bracing, for hardship, like you said, versus going on the offense actively loving.
Would you elaborate on that a little bit? Yeah, for sure. What I was referring to is that, I mean, I have another one of those conversations that leaves me discouraged fear creeps, um, into my mind, just, and just an, an an example. I was literally thinking about how much I loved my husband and how happy I was with him.
And then, you know, the thought comes in, okay. When is the other shoe gonna drop? When, when is this gonna end? When is the M miserable part start mm-hmm and you know, all these people complain about their spouse to tell me how horrible it is. When is that supposed to happen? And. So it's I found in a couple ways, whenever I don't fight that whenever I don't actively fight that it can creep in and I can start to get defensive on stuff that, I mean, you know, I shouldn't even be defensive on, it's not, you know, he's not attacking me in any way.
I mean, it's like, I, I'm almost looking for something to go wrong instead. I could be using that time to think about, okay, Instead of that. How am I going to love him? How am I gonna love him more? In what ways can I better do that instead of focusing on, okay, well, what if this is gonna happen? What if this is gonna happen and just waiting and looking for something to go wrong?
I just, I think that wonderful things can happen when you you're leaning into, and my belief, I think that when you lean into God, trust him and you lean into and love your spouse. Those wonderful things can happen with that. Yeah. And, and those hardships that that will come mm-hmm, , it'll be so much easier to navigate if you're on the offense of as opposed to being defensive, like you said, it's a great destination.
What other practical things do you think that we can do to build up the marriages around us? Uh, instead of tearing them down? Well, as far as practical ways, I think that if you have children. Which I don't um, schedule time on your week, spend time with your spouse. I think I'll, I'll use my sister as an example.
Um, cuz she has, she has five children and many people would say, oh, we're just tired. Or we just don't have time. And I mean, my sister and her husband are our great example. They, they schedule a date night every night, every, every week that once a week, every week, whether it's ice cream and talking on the couch after kids go to sleep or, or while they're fighting to get some of the kids go to sleep or if that, or if that means, um, getting a babysitter for the night and going out, I mean, I think that it's important to do that and I think.
It's something that I feel like I have to say in the world we live in now is put away your technology. One of the best days my husband and I ever spent together was a day. We actually put our cell phones in a literal box and went to the mountains and we didn't have a TV to turn on. We had some of the most deep conversation to the most fun we'd had and forever just laughing and playing board games and something you don't really realize how much technology takes away from truly connecting with each other and use that time to really dig deep and converse on how you can love each other better ways that they'll feel served and loved.
And maybe even talk about things that you've kind of been putting off that are points of conflict. I mean, and I think. Technology can just, it's so easy for it to just become a distraction so that you don't have to kind of work on that. So good. And what would you say to the, the friends of people who, you know, maybe there's a marriage struggling or, um, yeah, just in general, wanting to, to build up their friends who are newlyweds, or maybe even mid married for years and the ideas and kind of some practical things that we could do to, to help those marriages, like, say that they do have children, um, offer to babysit mm-hmm, say, say what can offer, say, what can I, what can I do?
Because a lot of times you're, I mean, you're not gonna know what you can do. Yeah. Um, and, but that, I think that is one practical way of saying, okay, let me babysit for the night or maybe. Here's a gift card for, you know, if that's, if that's a point of worry, here's a way that you can give him a, like a night at a hotel, like yeah.
A trip somewhere. I mean, it could be, I think a number of things, but also something that that's just as simple as, um, taking, taking your friend out to coffee and, and encouraging her and praying with her and saying, how can, you know, how can I help you? How can I encourage you? And ways that makes the conversation kind of build up instead of okay, just vent to me on what's going on.
So this was a couple things that come to mind. Yeah, no, those are beautiful. And we, we had friends who have two kids now and, uh, yeah. Offering to babysit is like changes their life. It's really? Yeah. It's really, cuz babysitters can be really expensive. So if you can do that, um, yeah. And, and if you're, you know, if you're a dating couple, an engaged couple or newlyweds without kids, especially it's great training too.
so you, oh yeah, you do get something out of it, uh, as well. Well, Definitely there were thousands of comments, Sarah, like we mentioned on your post, what did you learn from those comments? Um, so I was encouraged and I was a little discouraged at the same time. um, I, I was encouraged on one hand, um, that so many people share their love stories and it was beautiful to see, and it was encouraging to see, but I, I also wondered, you know, why haven't I heard this in real life?
You know, why haven't I heard this in day to day conversations? Um Hmm. What if there's, you know, so many happy marriages and, and you know, it very well could be the circles that I am and work or whatever else that that could be the reason, but I, I wondered, you know, why haven't I heard this. in real life and it may, this may sound rude and I'm not trying to be rude at all.
Cause I'm saying this about myself too. It's easier to type out what you feel and not actually stand up for what you're for your marriage and spouse in conversation in person. So I honestly wondered why am I just now hearing this on a Facebook post? If that makes sense. I, I was, I was encouraged by knowing that, you know, I'm not alone in how I feel sometimes.
And I'm saw so many, especially younger people commenting. They felt the same way and honestly wondered, you know, if a marriage could ever truly be happy and that, that was kind of encouraging to see, okay, I'm not alone in how I feel about this. Cause many times I have felt that way. Yeah, me too. And I think it's an interesting point.
You bring up about those marriages. Yeah. Where are they? Mm-hmm I wonder if one thing is maybe they feel bad about talking about it. Cause since there are so many broken marriages and just ugly relationships, kinda like you alluded to before, that's one thing that comes to mind. Another thing I wonder if they think that, you know, because they know their marriage better than anyone else and they see the problems, the real problems that are in it.
Maybe they think that, oh, we're we don't have a great marriage when you look, you know, someone from the outside looking in is like, no, you have a beautiful marriage. Not perfect. No one has a perfect marriage. No, but I, I wonder if those are two reasons that contribute to people staying silent. Yeah, definitely.
I, I think that that could be it and I. I think I said this earlier, but I mean, I definitely know there are so many flaws in my own marriage and so many things that we wanna work on, but I do, I, I would like to see that that's something I would like to see is, you know, kind of, because in, in many ways, in multiple different conversations, it's so easy to sit behind, you know, computer your, your phone and, and say what you think.
But whatever, it comes time in, in face to face conversation, it's, it's like a whole different ball game kind of thing. but absolutely. That's what something I would like to see. And we're right there worth you. We do not have a perfect marriage, but we, we are striving. We're trying. So yeah, we, we were right there with you and I think I wish people would expect the challenges ahead of time.
And you alluded to this as well, but you know, if you look at Olympians, if you look at Navy seals, if you look at anyone who's accomplished anything great in their lives, anything that's, you know, really hard. It's always through trial. It's always through suffering. It's always through, um, pushing themselves and, and working hard at it.
It's you don't just wake up one day and, you know, become an gold medal Olympian. You don't wanna just wake up one day and become a Navy EV seal. Like this is something you have to really work hard at. And so if we want great marriages, we really should expect that, that we have to work hard for, for some reason I've noticed this, that we almost expect it to be easy and, and to be magical and to, um, kind of be effortless.
But the truth is in any married couple who has been married for a long time and has to be full marriage, uh, would attest to that too. And again, I'm not saying it's miserable, but there are real challenges and it takes hard work. Mm-hmm yeah, I agree. It's worth it. it's worth it. You, you ended the post by.
Be bold enough to take a stand for your marriage. What do you mean by that? So I think that I've, I've kind of spoken a little bit about this earlier, but sure. It's, it's easy to just go along with like the jokes and the comments you hear referencing marriages. It's something I'm obviously super, super passionate about.
So I found myself becoming more and more outspoken about it, but I, I speak up for my own marriage because it's, it's not this, not only promotes, you know, positive view of marriage, but I think it's. A way that I can respect my husband, even if he isn't there. When you get married, you should be saying, okay.
I, I believe in this person, I trust this person. I love this person. If, if someone is attacking, attacking the idea of, uh, relationships and marriage in, and you are married in a way that they're attacking your marriage too, when they're attacking the idea of marriage mm-hmm , um, they're. So whether they realize that or not, and I think that that's something they don't realize a lot.
Um, but I think. That starts at home by practicing, you know, love and respect for your partner, cultivating that trust. Like I trust that if something says something bad about me when I'm not there and my husband is he's gonna stand up for me. So why don't we do the same thing for our marriages? Yeah, no, that's beautiful.
And I think, yeah, like you said, there's a lot of practical things that we can do to, uh, to stand up for, for our marriage. Uh, some people will say that marriage is not worth the effort to begin with since so many marriages end in divorce. And, and we talked about this a lot, but I kinda wanna go underneath our conversation to the foundation of all this in the grand scheme of things.
Why do you think the world needs good marriages? I, I definitely agree with that. I think that our world desperately needs good marriages, and I'm sure you've spoken on this and can attest to this, um, even more than I can, but a, a good marriage cultivates and it lays the groundwork for that couple's children and their lives and future relationships, and even just friendships.
And I mean, I think. Like, like you said earlier, there's multiple studies on devastation effects that can have on children, but everyone else around those people that come from that home in which the parents are separated. And I think that whenever you're in a home and in a relationship that is nurturing and that is good and solid, that works through, you know, the hard, the hard parts.
I think that. that is just a great witness and great opportunity to just everyone around them, if that makes sense. And that will ultimately play out. And so, I mean, how everyone treats each other is my opinion. It, it starts at home. absolutely. Yeah. Home is a school of love and that's where it's like, we got our degree in love from, from home and in some cases it's really a bad training.
In other cases it's really beautiful and we wanna make it, so I couldn't agree. More everything you said. That's awesome. Mm-hmm that's awesome. And, uh, why is it so important? Would you say to, to take what we're saying in this conversation and not just keep it in a podcast episode, not just keep it on a Facebook post, but actually take it out into the world.
Well, why is that so important? Oh, I think, I think we have to kind of reintroduce the respect and sanctity of marriage. Um, I think that marriage. Today has lost. So a lot of respect because divorce is so common. And honestly, because of sin, I, I honestly believe that divorce is so common that I'd, I'd venture to say that people don't always have think of marriage as the end game, so to speak.
I think in the back of their mind, they kind of, they always have like this way out, whether or not they think that, um, right off the bat or they say that I think that that can be something that's in the back of their mind. So I think, I think that that's important to say, okay, this is end game this is the end game for me.
And, uh, I think that the more that we're practicing that, and we're, we're spreading that and kind of spreading this whole kind of message that it can be. Beautiful. And it can last, I don't know. I just, I think great things can come from that. Amen. Couldn't agree more. And just the last question here, sir.
What, what final encouragement would would you give to, uh, those listening who are maybe afraid of love, afraid of marriage, similar to, to you, like you said, and then me as well, uh, because they've seen marriages fail and, and they've seen divorce and maybe they've listened to the negativity a about marriage.
What, what encouragement do you give people like that? I, what I would wanna say is I, I encourage you to, to look at it as divorce is not a reflection of marriage. It's a reflection of the people who are in that relationship. Um, not necessarily of marriage itself. And it's, it is so easy to. Negative about it, especially if you've witnessed it by your own parents or, you know, by a close friend or your aunt or uncle or anybody around you.
It's so easy, but also realize that marriage really can be beautiful and amazing. And like I said earlier, trust God, be selfless, love hard and be bold in your love, but it, it can be beautiful and amazing. And yeah, Sarah, you're awesome. Thank you so much for being here. This has been great. And uh, I wanted to say thank you to you and your husband for your service to, to our country.
Yeah. We really have our freedom to, to thank to people like you. So thank you so much. Thank you so much for having me. It's been great. Absolutely. And if anyone wants to connect with you, how can they connect with you? Uh, well, Mo mostly on either, um, Instagram or Facebook. I probably won't, uh, respond to friend requests on Facebook just due to privacy stuff, but you can definitely message me on Facebook.
Uh, Sarah Gerard, um, or my Instagram, um, is Sarah Gerard 12 and that's. That's kind of, if I do write anything that I, I usually put it out there, so yeah. You can keep up with me on Instagram or message me on Facebook or Instagram if you wanna chat. So, yeah. Awesome. And we'll throw those in the show notes for you guys, so you, uh, don't need to remember those, Sarah.
Thank you so much again. Awesome. Thank you so much. I really enjoyed that conversation with Sarah. It was honestly so refreshing even for me. And I don't really have much to add, but like Sarah said, let's not just keep this in a podcast episode, but let's go out into the world and build up the marriages around us.
And some of you listening really have never heard of restored. You have no idea about us. And so I just wanna tell you for a second about ReSTOR, uh, ReSTOR helps teenagers and young adults who come from broken families. And that really comes from a lot of pain in my own life. Growing up, I learned firsthand that when your parents separate or divorce, it hurts, it's painful.
It's traumatic. And I later found out that there's a lot of teens, most teens, in fact, and young adults feel lone. And, and they feel uncertain of how to deal with it all, how to deal with the brokenness in their life, especially the brokenness in their relationship. And so I started restore to give them the practical guidance and support that they need to, to heal and to grow so that they can feel whole again.
And not only do we serve the teenagers and young adults, but we also serve anyone who loves or leads them. We wanna help you guys help them. And so we obviously have this podcast, we also have a blog. We do speaking engagements for writing a book. We have a private online community and we're building a coaching network of counselors and spiritual directors that we trust that we recommend.
And so to, to see more about how restored helps. People teenagers and young adults who come from broken homes, you can go to restored ministry.com. Again, that's restored ministry ministries to singular.com. And if you scroll down to the bottom of the homepage, uh, you're gonna see a quick form where you can join our email list if you'd like, and if you do, you're gonna get a few things.
One, you're gonna get a free ebook that we wrote called five practical tips to cure loneliness. You'll get other exclusive content. When we come out with new podcast episodes, we'll email those to you. Uh, you'll get new blog articles that we write every other week, and you're gonna be entered into free random giveaways.
Like. Giveaways of books and other things and no spam, just solid content. We really don't email that much and you can always subscribe at any time. So we'd love for you to sign up. We'd love to serve you guys and to have you along for the ride. The resources mentioned during the show notes ever restored ministry.com/ 26.
Again, that's restored ministry.com/two six. Thank you so much for listening. If this has been useful, go ahead and subscribe and share this podcast with someone, you know, who could really use it. And always remember you are not alone. We're here to help you feel whole again and become the person that you were born to be.
