I Became a Recluse
2 minute read.
This story was written by Ken at 58 years old. His parents separated when he was 11. He gave permission for his story to be shared.
His STORY
I do not know specifically, my parents sat my sister (younger than myself) and I down and stated they were getting a divorce. I remember 3 very specific details 1) my sister said to me "I bet you're happy Mom and Dad are getting a divorce" and 2) both my Mom and Dad are standing on opposite sides of me in my Dad's garage of his rental house and both asked me which parent do I want to live with? 3) I believe after years of realizing some memories from my past that my Dad's adultery with another woman he worked with was part of the reason, which he ended up marrying, but the marriage lasted less than 1 year.
HOW THE DIVORCE MADE him FEEL
I think I processed by being a reclusive person when I would be at my dad's house on the weekend visits or being a poor student, I would ride my bike and work my paper route after school. I also did not maintain a healthy weight from an early age and was made fun of it as the "fat" kid because of that.
HOW THE DIVORCE IMPACTED him
When I visit my Dad's home on weekend visits I also turned to pornography as an escape, also food/eating/junk food binging and being a loner and later a rescuer to help others more than I knew I needed help as a deflection outlet.
ADVICE FOR SOMEONE WHOSE PARENTS JUST SEPARATED OR DIVORCED
I would say that after talking with a mentor I worked with and reading the book earlier this year, "The Power Of The Other" by Dr. Henry Cloud, and reading about the 4 corners. I decided I needed to tell someone about how Pornography was consuming me and I needed help, I had tried therapy, but I did not pursue it, I also read the book provided through SAA - Sex Addicts Anonymous and reading the real-life stories is very powerful. I also did not know this podcast was a thing (suffering in silence for many, many years) but found it by shear accident one day and started listening to your episodes and found there are others out there, and this podcast is a HUGE help in understanding what I have gone through and that I am enough and I can get help and can make a difference to somebody else.
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