They Both Make Me Feel Trapped.
2 minute read.
This story was written by Alexandria Boness at 16 years old. Her parents divorced before she was born. She gave permission for her story to be shared.
HER STORY
My parents were separated before I was born and I've mostly lived with my dad. My mother isn't a very stable person, she has drinking problems, smokes a lot, and has a hard time holding a job. She was in abusive romantic relationships and would bring them around when I would visit her house. As I got older, I remember visiting her and her getting super drunk at 1 am and then having me in a car as she flew through intersections. I felt horrible about her drinking problem and I wanted to help her, but she is very manipulative and makes me feel bad when I can't be with her and no longer living with her. My dad isn't helpful mentally, however, and they both make me feel trapped.
HOW THE DIVORCE MADE HER FEEL
It made me feel like I had to choose a parent I liked better and they constantly would talk bad about the other parent. It was a lot for me to listen to and deal with as I got older.
HOW THE DIVORCE IMPACTED HER
It has not impacted me well and I feel anxious and depressed. I want to leave my family more to be able to breathe and figure out my family for myself without the opinions of others. I don't think I have a good relationship with my parents now.
ADVICE FOR SOMEONE WHOSE PARENTS JUST SEPARATED OR DIVORCED
It doesn't define you and you can still have a relationship with both of your parents. You should never feel like you are the problem or the divider because it's not your fault. If your parents don't get along well, don't let one parent's opinions and statements dictate how you feel about the other parent. If it's a toxic household, try to find time to breathe.
WHAT DO YOU THINK NEEDS TO BE DONE TO HELP TEENS AND YOUNG ADULTS FROM DIVORCED AND SEPARATED FAMILIES?
I think there needs to be therapy for this specific area so that kids are understood. Support sources are also super helpful and check-ins can help someone get through a divorce or separation
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