I Felt Abandoned
2 minute read.
This story was written by Sam at 20 years old. His parents separated when he was 7. He gave permission for his story to be shared.
His STORY
I was born in Bangladesh in a Buddhist family. When I was around 6 years old they started fighting. My mom was still going to college and my dad had a job as an accountant. My dad would sometimes force her out of bed in the morning. My paternal grandma also used to live with us. One time my mom spilled tea on her by accident and I think my dad raged a lot that time but I don't remember exactly what happened. Then after some time both of my dad and mom's families came to our house to discuss about the situation; my mom took me to live with her until I was around 13 or something I started to live with my dad. My mom decided to marry a Muslim guy and started living with him. I stopped talking to my mom after that.
HOW THE DIVORCE MADE him FEEL
I didn't actually feel anything that much at the time, I was still happy. What hit me was when she married someone else, I felt abandoned at the time and I had a lot of anger toward her for whatever reason. I already had problems telling people when they asked me about parents. All I felt was abandonment, anger and not knowing what I'd tell people when they'd ask me about my parents. When I'd go to school, I'd see everyone bringing lunch from home made by their moms and that'd make me so sad sometimes. My dad had to run for the job in the morning so he'd just give me some money to buy something from the canteen and food there was not good at all. I'd wish so much to have a normal family. When we'd have to write paragraphs about our family I didn't know what to write.
HOW THE DIVORCE IMPACTED him
When I was around 8th grade I started acting out and my father couldn't handle me anymore so he sent me to Thailand as a buddhist monk. I've been here for 4 years now. And I never wanted to live like this. I haven't been able to make any real friends or do anything that I like. I can't go just visit places as a monk. My life is really restricted. I always dreamed of studying astrophysics or anything astronomy related as kid but cause I'm a monk I couldn't choose science in school and now I'm studying in University and can't study anything I like as well. Not to mention the quality of education in buddhist universities are so bad too. I feel so miserable and lonely nowadays. I never had a problem with loneliness but it just started hitting me this year and I can't do anything about it and it hurts so much.
ADVICE FOR SOMEONE WHOSE PARENTS JUST SEPARATED OR DIVORCED
I don't know what advice I can give but as a kid I had no understanding of the world but when I started growing I realized everyone deserves happiness no matter what. I became understanding of my mom's situation even though that's not what I wanted. I can't say much as I'm still struggling but I'd say try to understand their situation from their perspective.
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