Why Wasn't I Able to Have a Normal Family?
2 minute read
This story was written by an anonymous author at 24 years old. His parents divorced when he was 2 years old. He gave permission for his story to be shared.
HIS STORY
They divorced when I was two. This of course hurt, but the pain was intensified by my father divorcing my stepmother after I got to know her for 7+ years.
Then, my mother separated from a boyfriend she had been with for over ten years who I had become very familiar with, enough to call my stepfather.
HOW THE DIVORCE MADE HIM FEEL
At first sad. I couldn't understand why I wasn't able to have a normal family. The separations after that are when I really started to self-destruct and develop some seriously toxic behaviors.
HOW HIS PARENTS' DIVORCE HAS IMPACTED HIM
It has caused me to have an absolute terror of intimacy with both friendships and especially anything romantic. I distrust most people and tend to believe everyone has a secret intention to manipulate me or hurt me in some way.
I have grown up with an extreme sense of emotional loneliness due to me not allowing anyone to know anything about me. I based most of my life until right now, at the age of 24, on doing anything I could to make my father happy. He's the one that physically moved somewhere else after the divorce, even though I saw him every weekend almost during my childhood.
ADVICE TO SOMEONE WHOSE PARENTS HAVE DIVORCED OR SEPARATED
Don't ever allow someone to tell you that it's normal for a family to separate
Avoid shoving feelings aside
Seek counseling
Tell your parents how it makes you feel
Don't be scared to tell friends how you feel
Don't attempt to give a positive light to the divorce
It will blow up eventually, whether in a few days or ten years. You'll have to deal with it sometime, and I think it would have been easier for me had I not tried to rationalize the divorce.
HOW TO HELP YOUNG PEOPLE FROM DIVORCED AND SEPARATED FAMILIES
Counseling services. To be clear, I don't mean prescribed medication for depression, but rather a specialized counselor who can help a person deal with all the pain that comes from your parents divorcing and broken families.
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