Most teens and young adults from broken homes are traumatized by their parents’ divorce.

But they’re never told how to navigate the pain and problems. Without guidance, they continue to struggle in serious ways.

Emotional Problems

Loneliness, depression, anxiety, anger, and low self-esteem.

Unhealthy Coping

Drug & alcohol abuse, porn, hooking up, self-harm, and suicide.

Relationship Struggles

Fear of love, trust issues, failed romance, and strained parental relationships.

And more. It shouldn’t be this way.

A Practical Guide

Advice for navigating the most pressing challenges faced by teens and young adults from broken families.

33 tough questions.
33 practical answers.

In this book, you’ll get a clear understanding of how your parents’ separation or divorce can impact you — even years later.

Plus, learn how to:

Cope in Healthy Ways
Handle your pain in healthy ways instead of unhealthy ways.

Overcome Emotional Problems
Begin defeating your loneliness, anxiety, depression, and more.

Build Healthy Relationships
Conquer your fear of love and build thriving relationships.

Navigate Your Relationship with Your Parents
Respectfully engage your parents in a healthy way.

Become a Better, Stronger Person
Overcome your weaknesses and build virtue.

What’s Included

It’s Not Your Fault answers 33 questions on the most pressing challenges faced by teens and young adults from broken families.

Paperback | $10

Get $50 worth of bonuses when you buy the book!

• Recorded talk, 7 Tips to Build a Thriving and Divorce-Proof Marriage

• Step-by-step guide for how to have a difficult conversation with your parents

• Additional tips for how to practice good self-care to help you feel and be your best

• Extensive playbook of healthy coping ideas that are easy and fun

• Questions for small group discussions

• List of every recommended resource from the book in one easy location

Hi, I’m Joey Pontarelli

My parents separated when I was 11 and later divorced. It brought lots of pain and problems into my life. I made many mistakes trying to cope with the pain.

Searching for help, I was shocked by the lack of resources for young people from broken families. And so, I started Restored to fill the void. I’m not a psychologist and I don’t have my PhD. But here’s what I do bring to the table:

• 17+ years of finding solutions to the pain and problems from my parents’ breakup

• 10+ years of spiritual direction

• 6+ years of counseling

• Podcast host, international speaker, and published author

• Husband and father

Who Restored Has Served

“I recommend Restored to anyone who is interested in helping teens and young adults recover from the wounds inflicted by separation and divorce.”

Archbishop Aquila, Denver Archdiocese

How It’s Not Your Fault Has Helped People

“I bought this for someone very close to me who was going through their parents divorce as a young adult. It really really helped him and was a major turning point in his healing journey. Highly recommend. I’m so glad this is a resource.”

Allison

“As one who researches the effects of divorce on children (I edited Primal Loss: The Now-Adult Children of Divorce Speak), I am beyond excited that there is finally a book that comes to the aid of the adult children of divorce--without gaslighting them. There is almost nothing out there addressing the real pain and obstacles that come after one's natural foundation is shattered via parental divorce. The culture of "do what makes you happy!" can deny the dark effects of divorce all it wants, but for the child who has gone through the crucible, the suffering is real and long-lasting. This book is a lifeline, giving practical advice on a broad range of issues, with no condescension. Written by Joey Pontarelli, himself a child of divorce, and the founder of Restored, you will feel like you are getting sound advice from a friend who knows you. Highly, highly recommend for any teen or adult child of divorce. (Would be great for therapists and pastors to have on their shelves to hand out, as well.)“

Leila Miller, Author

“Your ministry has literally saved my life. Your podcast has been more effective than 30 years of counseling. Nothing worked until I found Restored. Finally, people who understood how I felt and gave this pain a voice.”

Holli

“This book is an essential resource for people of faith seeking to make sense of the aftermath of their parents’ divorce. It combines practical wisdom along with validation for the challenges people face. Highly recommend!”

Dr. Julia Sadusky, PsyD, Author

“I purchased this book to prepare for a youth group evening on divorced parents. As an adult child of divorce, I have been looking for answers to these questions for many years! The answers are concise, clear, and uplifting. Although it doesn't cover every possible topic, I can't think of a question it didn't answer. Thank you.”

Anonymous

“If you've never considered how your parents' divorce may be affecting your relationships, your jobs, your mental health and your confidence, take a look. It's not your fault that you are suffering. Divorce is more devastating than we were ever led to believe, but this comprehensive book will enlighten you. You will be sure to identify with many of the issues discussed.

This is a smart, practical guide that gives us hope for our future and makes us feel that we aren't alone. This is a necessary book for all children of divorce. I spent many years of my life wondering what was wrong with me? Pontarelli seeks to tell us what is wrong with divorce, and how we can use the tools he offers to life a better life.”

Anonymous

“Joey and his team at Restored have worked tirelessly to develop a resource that reminds individuals lost in the effects of a broken home that they are not alone, that--as the title clearly states--the experience is not their fault, and--perhaps most importantly--there is hope. Joey draws on not only his own testimony from his parents' divorce but incorporates the experiences of countless others from similar situations he and Restored have engaged with. In tandem with the wisdom of other experts, this comes together in the form of topical advice and practical tips.

This book can be read cover-to-cover or referenced for one of the many issues it addresses surrounding the divorce/separation of one's parents and life thereafter. As a fellow child of divorce in my thirties, I benefited greatly from this book and wish something like it might have existed when I was in high school. To that end, I have shared copies of this book with several of the students at the high school where I teach dealing with the breakdown of their families. The reception has been tremendously positive, and this book has set in motion a number of inspiring conversations.

If you (or someone you love) come from a broken home and are looking for some sort of light toward navigating the challenges that brings, I cannot recommend this book enough, and I am deeply grateful to Joey and Restored for bringing a voice into that wound of silence!”

John McLain

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Contents

Released September 21, 2021. 33 questions answered in 240 pages for Catholic teens and young adults from broken families.

Introduction

Handling the Trauma of Your Parents' Divorce or Separation
1. What are some of the effects of my parents' divorce?
2. Everyone acts like my parents’ divorce isn’t a big deal. Is it wrong for me to feel hurt by it?
3. Is divorce ever justified?
4. What is an annulment and how does it work? Will I become an illegitimate child?

Overcoming Emotional Pain & Problems
5. How can I stop feeling like my parents’ divorce was my fault? 
6. What can I do to cure my loneliness?
7. How can I better deal with my anxiety?
8. I’m tired of feeling depressed. How do I feel happy again?
9. I struggle with low self-esteem. How can I become more confident?
10. After my family broke apart, I felt abandoned, unwanted, inadequate, and even rejected. Is something wrong with me?
11. How do I deal with my anger so it doesn’t control me?
12. Self-harm is my way of coping. How do I stop?
13. I don’t want to live anymore. What hope is there for me?

What Healthy Coping Looks Like
14. How can I cope in healthy ways instead of unhealthy ways?
15. What’s your advice for navigating the holidays and other life events?
16. I often neglect my needs. How can I do a better job of taking care of myself?

Building Healthy Relationships
17. How do I avoid repeating my parents' mistakes, and build a healthy marriage?
18. How do I overcome my fear of love, relationships, and intimacy?
19. What can I do to get past the barriers that hold me back in love and relationships?
20. I hate conflict. How do I stop being afraid and handle it better?
21. I tend to be controlling in life and relationships. How can I overcome that tendency?
22. How do I stop relying on people, like a girlfriend or boyfriend, in an unhealthy way?

Healing Tactics to Help You Feel Whole Again
23. What is grieving and how does it work?
24. I feel broken, like something is wrong with me. How can I heal and feel whole again?
25. What is a victim mentality and how do I beat it?

Navigating Your Relationship with Your Parents
26. How do I love and help my parents?
27. What can I do to heal my relationship with my parents?
28. How do I deal with my parents moving on in life and relationships?

Your Relationship with God
29. Why does God let bad things like my parents’ divorce happen?
30. I feel far from God. How can I get closer to him?

Decisions and Your Future
31. How can I discern my calling in life when I feel so anxious and uncertain?
32. I often overthink and feel paralyzed by decisions. How do I fix that?
33. Is it selfish or wrong to move on in life and not be as available for my broken family?

Bonuses

Resources

Feedback

Notes

At some point, additional versions will be published for 1) Non-Catholic Christians and 2) secular young people. However, we don’t have a date. So don’t wait, get the book now and you can pass over any parts that don’t align with your beliefs.

Full disclosure: The Buy Now button contains an Amazon affiliate link. As an affiliate, Restored receives an extra commission at no additional cost to you. Thanks for your support!