A Marital Chill Pill: Why Some Countries are Forcing Couples to Wait before Divorce

2 minute read

I think we can all agree that marriage is hard. Even if you aren’t married yourself, it’s easy to imagine how living with someone day in and day out, for years and years, could get dicey. We all have quirks, some of which are harmless, but over time can become annoying. And some which are straight sinful—since we are all imperfect and have a tendency toward vice. People are human, after all.

This alone is enough to cause difficulty—and definitely does—in any close relationship, especially one as intimate as marriage. Add to that the external difficulties people go through—financial hardship, stressful jobs, parenting struggles, etc.—and it’s easy to understand why the decision to just call it quits can be so tempting at times.

That being said, it has become increasingly evident that divorce is harmful to the children involved—and often doesn’t bring the former couple the happiness they hoped for either. 

For these reasons, some countries are attempting to force couples into reconsidering their decision to separate. They are doing this by implementing a period of time that the couple has to stay together after making the decision to divorce but before they can legally do so—a marital “chill pill” if you will. For example, at the beginning of last year, China passed a law that requires couples who are seeking a divorce to postpone for 30 days before formalizing it. As of 2019 in Denmark, parents seeking a divorce are required to take a course and wait three months before they can separate. 

As you can imagine, there has been a lot of controversy surrounding these laws. Many see these restrictions as simply roadblocks to men and women finding happiness again. And though these laws are not supposed to apply in extreme cases such as abuse, some question whether individuals in bad situations are actually being given exemptions or not. Still others believe it is not the role of the government to interfere with marital relationships in this way, regardless of the outcome.

Whether or not you can agree with laws such as these, the reported results of these laws certainly give us something to think about. According to the Chinese ministry of civil affairs. Only 296,000 divorces were registered in the first three months of 2021, as opposed to the 1.06 million the same quarter a year before.

In Denmark, the course was tested between 2015 and 2018 on 2,500 volunteers and the results were “staggering,” according to Dr. Martin Hald from the University of Copenhagen, one of the course creators. 

It seems this time for reflection is serving as a breather of sorts for these strained couples, giving them an opportunity to regroup and get back on track. 

While marriage can be extremely trying, and there is rarely such a thing as a ‘quick fix,’ the findings from these laws challenge the widely held belief that divorce is always the answer to a hard or bad marriage. In fact, in other areas of life we see that this logic doesn’t hold. For example, if a workout routine is exceedingly difficult, you’ll rarely hear someone tell you: “just quit.” If work has become more stressful, you probably won’t simply quit to avoid the difficulty. When your car breaks down you don’t just throw it away without trying your best to fix it first.

Hard things take hard work, and often the most difficult things are also the most worthwhile. These laws remind us that while marital struggles will happen over the course of the years, often difficulties are temporary and almost always can be worked through. Maybe many more marriages can be saved if couples wait just a little longer before pulling the trigger on divorce.